恩 Earnology

Commitment

2011-10-27T22:12:00.004+11:00

Commitment.
What is commitment?

It is not just about money, ie, paying for cars, mortgage and etc.
No, most importantly, it is time.

How many time one has? Not many. If you do not spend your time properly, you will lose them very quickly. It is the one thing that you cannot replace, no matter what you do.

柴九说:"人生有几多个10年。" To be honest, not many.

I am 25 now, turning 26 in a couple of months time.
I spent a lot of my time working for the past few years, without realising there is a lot more to life.

Family.
Pet, if you have one.
Girlfriend, or life partner.
And most importantly, yourself.

Everyone has their own dream and living and trying achieve that takes time.
What I want?
Where will it take place?
Answer to that is tricky.

My farewell email

2011-10-22T16:35:00.005+11:00

Dear all,

As mentioned in my previous post, I sent out the following farewell email to my department on 12 of October, 2011.

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Dear all,

It is with mixed emotions that I send this email. For nearly as long as I’ve worked here, I knew that one day I will be typing “Today is my last day”. After 1,198 days (or in short, 3 years and 3 months), that day has finally come. My last working day is Wednesday, October 12th.

I have decided to take an early retirement from audit career and go home, where I left (more than 7 years ago) since I finished secondary school. I am taking a moment to reflect on what just happened and what have I missed. I joined KPMG 3 years ago and all of a sudden, things just happen really quickly here. I feel that it is time for me to move on to new opportunities and challenges. I need to try something different. This decision was not an easy one and it took a lot of consideration ie money, friendship, family and etc.

KPMG (not so widely known as Klynveld Peat Marwick Goerdeler) is one of the largest professional services firms in the world, but KPMG Petaling Jaya, Audit G is very unique and different by its own culture and people. People in this department have taught me more than I could ever ask for and had sharpened me intellectually. Over the past 3 years, I have learned the true meaning of “there is always one mountain higher than another mountain.” Since day-one, I have been fortunate enough to know, or even to work with, some amazing and brilliant partners, managers, seniors and juniors. Every person I interacted with in KPMG strengthened this paradigm. For those who just joined, you are up for great deals of learning.

Working here can be tedious especially working late nights, doing administrative works, drafting, amending and re-amending accounts, casting and cross casting figures, vouching of contract costs, administrative expenses, operating expenses, and etc, doing job after job, answering in-charged’s, manager’s, senior manager’s, director’s, partner’s and EQCR’s queries sheets, most importantly, earning low salary and etc. – an invaluable lesson learned, “Good medicine is bitter to the taste.” At times, it can be very challenging and demanding, but it provided me with insight about myself and my capabilities.

But, working here is not all bad. During my tenure with the firm, I was given the opportunity to climb to the top of a crude oil tanks to take measurement, to take study leave and complete my CPA programs (I hope the firm pays for it too), to attend various training (in which, I admit I was half asleep almost 75% of the time), to be promoted annually and given different responsibilities, to participate in social events, ie annual dinner, promotion dinner, community day, department trips, IAFG and etc, and to work with different team member every 2 -3 months and meet with different people, ie chairman, finance manager, project manager, store keeper and etc from different companies from different industries.

Working with KPMG would remain one of the most memorable phases of my life.

To all my partners, managers and seniors (most of whom are long gone) especially ____, I truly thank you for your support, encouragement, patient, trust, insights and guidance. Working under your guidance has been a learning and an enjoyable experience. Thank you so much for providing a wonderful work environment that allowed me to learn and grow in so many ways. Words cannot express my gratitude. Finally, thank you for believing in me and promoting me. I am still humbled by the fact that I am able to stay here for more than 3 years and become an Assistant manager.

To ____, thank you for your patient and guidance and teaching for both ____ and ____.
To ____, thank you for talking to me and giving me advice. One year into my time here, I was very close to leaving. You made me stay. I sincerely appreciate the lesson you gave me in ____.
To my PM, ____ and ____, and other engagement reviewers, thank you for giving me honest feedback. After all the hard work, I got satisfaction knowing that my works were better than “need development” because I’ve almost always considered myself as “need development”. I am flattered. Thank you for all the encouragements.
To ____, thanks for being like a sister to me.

To all my team members especially, ____ team, ____ team, ____ team, ____ team and of course ____ team, it has been a great pleasure working with you all. Thank you all for being a great team. I thank you for all your support because without them, none of the jobs could be completed. I learned the most when I am learning together with you all.

To ____ team, seriously, when are we going to Teo Heng? I will miss ____’s MJ dance move.
To ____, thanks for being patient with me.
To ____ team, I will remember visiting ____ at the hospital. I will remember ____’s affair with the VT and thanks for the dinner.
To ____ team, thank for your hard work.
Finally, I am sorry for not being the best senior in the department and for raising my voice sometimes.

To all my clients, thank you for your patience, support and co-operation.

To all my friend, thank you for great friendship. I will miss being your friend and will cherish our great memories and histories together. Because of you, I truly enjoyed working for this department. I truly consider here to be my second family. I will never forget your friendship and kindness, and will drop by for surprise visits every now and then.

To ____, I will forever remember our late night instant noodles, our Sungai Wang’s mixed rice lunch together and etc.
To ____ and ____, I will remember all the good times we had in Lumut during 2010’s World Cup.

To the secretaries, typing pool team, HR and IT team, I would also like to thank you for your help.

Lastly, I wish you all the best in your future undertakings and I would sincerely like to apologise for any shortcomings and for anything that I have said or done that might have offended you.

Do stay in touch.

My personal contacts are:
Email: ____
Contact phone number: ____

Best regards,

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It was tough to walk into the department that day.

Love,

EARN

End of my audit career

2011-09-16T15:26:00.012+10:00

Happy Malaysia Day to everyone. =)

Actually what is the difference between Independence day and Malaysia day? Based on Wikipedia, Independence day is to commemorate the independence of the Federation of Malaya from British colonial rule in 1957 while Malaysia day is to commemorate the establishment of the Malaysian federation in 1963.

Don't mind the difference, nothing beats a Friday holiday. I am asked to work, but I am at home trying to think back the past three years when I am with KPMG. I wanted to draft my 'farewell email' to the my department.

I just finished talking with my sister, who is looking for job after graduated in UK and my girlfriend who is asking me to pay a summons I got during my Australia trip. As mentioned in my previous post, the trip has already cost me more than RM10k.

Ha-ha. Infringement notice from Australia

I am just gonna talk a little bit about my recent trip to Australia. I always wanted a vacation to commemorate my 3 years work with KPMG. Europe is out of my budget. 1 year ago, AirAsia was having promotion, so I bought the flight ticket to Australia.

Like I said in my previous post after my July 2010 Langkawi trip, I was looking forward to travel. But, the planning for this trip is a bit tough because it is a four person, two weeks, three different places, winter trip and there are a lot of things to be considered, mainly on the price.

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Regardless of that, we arrived at Gold Coast, Australia on the 26th of July. To be honest, I think the AirAsia's aircraft was alright, the purchased meal was fine, but the 8 hours plus flight was awful as I didn't manage to rest well. I don't want to sound like I am stereotyping, but my mind was saying 'this is an AirAsia budget aircraft and you won't be able to sleep or rest well on it'.

We checked into the Silverton apartment and had a short walk at the Surfer paradise and Harbour town. Some shops, cafes, and etc.

The 2 bedroom apartment unit located on the 15 floor (which is the highest floor) was amazing. It has 180 degree balcony overlooking the Surfer paradise of Gold Coast.

The next morning, we spent our day at the Movie world. We just sit back and relax the shows there. We visited the Aussie Farm, Paradise country on our last day in Gold Coast.

Hello Sydney; Good bye Gold Coast.

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On arrival, we had prawn, squish, lobster, oyster, salmon and etc for lunch at the Sydney Fish Market. We then visited the Sydney Opera House and the Sydney Harbour Bridge. We took a ferry ride to Darling harbour and had pork rib at the Hurricane's grill for dinner and pancakes at the Pancakes On The Rocks for supper.

Beautiful. Beauty of the Sydney Harbour hasn't faded at all since I left 3 years ago.

The next morning, we woke up early to catch the 2 hours train to the Blue Mountains. The view up there is incredible. We bushwalked the Three Sisters Walk. We ride the Skywalk and bushwalked again to the Katoomba Falls. After a long day, we headed back to Sydney city for Korean dinner. My friend, Ta Seng came and brought me to Mamak and Taiwan desert for supper.

The famous three sisters. Blue mountain is a really nice place to bushwalk.

On our last day in Sydney, we shopped at the Paddy's market. We then went onto one of the Sydney buses and visited the Rock. There were a lot of stalls offering variety of coffee and chocolate at the Coffee and Chocolate festival. We walked through the Rock market which is awesome. They sell amazing handcraft souvenir. We crossed the Sydney Harbour Bridge via the pedestrian walkway and wrapped up the day by window-shopping at the Pitt Street.

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After 6 days in Australia, on the 7th day, we arrived at Melbourne. We headed to the Federation Square to gather information and make some bookings. We hopped onto the Tourist bus which brings you around the city of Melbourne and had a walk in the city of Melbourne.

6.35am next morning, we took a coach to the Mt Buller. Up there, we do a little bit of skiing, tobogganing, food, and chilling.

Next day, we rented a Ford Fiesta and drove the Great Ocean Road and visited the Twelve Apostles. The 243KM stretch of road along the south-eastern coast of Australia was an amazing drive. The drive was beautiful.

Finally, on our last day, we returned to Melbourne city and visited the Queen Victoria Market.

To sum it up, more than RM10k spent, 3 different places, more than 18 hours of flight time, it is tiringly fun.

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Well. As I planned, I have resigned from my current job.

I joined KPMG on 1 July 2008 as an Audit Assistant and was promoted to Senior Associate and was later promoted to Assistant Manager.

I don't mind sharing. My salary has been revised and increased 4 times, 20%, 15%, 24% and 22% respectively.

During the past three years, I have earned a total of RM117,725 from basis pay and RM11,069 from bonus. 1.5 month for second half of 2008, 1.5 month for whole year of 2009, 1.75 month for whole year of 2010.

On average, I am paid RM3,389 a month. It is pitifully low.

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Finally, my niece, Yarona is back to Malaysia last month.

See you guy.

Love,

EARN

2011-09-03T18:28:00.003+10:00

My trip to Gold coast, Sydney and Melbourne with my girlfriend cost me RM10k.

A new beginning

2010-07-11T22:30:00.003+10:00

Today is Sunday. Tonight is the final of the World Cup 2010 (I will be watching). I just thought of writing.

For many, this could be the end of the once-every-four-years football season. But for me, it is the beginning of another season with Juve. They have already made five signings and I am optimistic.

Two days ago, I was at the LCCT after a flight from Langkawi. I had a 3D2N at Langkawi. It was simple and it was Malaysia.

Pantai Kok, Langkawi.

The idea of taking the break came when I have been continuously allocated to job after job and after job at work (and it was tiring).

Initially, I thought of... Redang. As and when I was looking online, I came across many websites and did some reading. There are many interesting places in Malaysia I have yet visited. I found Sipadan. It was beautiful (but I do not dive and it is a bit pricey). Then, I started thinking about Mount Kinabalu, Perhentian Island and even Cameron Highlands. Finally, I decided to go with Langkawi, a place I never thought of going at first. Not bad though.

Not a bad restaurant, Orchid Ria.

I learned to plan for vacation. Many things need to be considered namely, flight tickets, accommodation, traveling and etc. I am already looking forward to my next destination. Any idea?

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On 20th May 2010, my sister gave birth to a baby boy named Jared. He is a tiger like myself. He is amazing. Thank god. I am thinking when he turn 18, I will be a 42 year old uncle. Ha-ha. This is life.

Next month, my eldest sister will be giving birth to a baby girl named Yarona in London. My mother will be going there to look after my sister. Due to job commitment, I am sorry that I could not go.

Introducing Jared.

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Recently, I got promoted as Senior Associate. I had spoken of my unhappiness of missing one promotion in the past. Now, I am content.

However...

...it got me thinking.

'Am I presenting myself good enough?'
'Do I communicate well?'
'Am I technically strong enough to guide people?'
'Am I prepared to lead?'

So many questions.

I recalled when I first joined. I respected and looked up to my seniors. Now that I am one. It is different.

See you guy.

Love,

EARN

PS
LeBron quitted Cleveland. He meant so much to Cleveland since he was drafted in 2003. It was unthinkable that he left. It was time for him to leave.

PPS
As mentioned in my previous post, I was tempted to buy a HDtv. I did it now.

2010-01-26T21:00:00.001+11:00

人生就为了寻找爱的过程，每个人的人生都要找四个人。
第一个是自己,
第二个是你最爱的人,
第三个是最爱你的人,
第四个是共度一生的人。
首先会遇到你最爱的人，然后体会爱的感觉。因为了被爱的感觉,所以才能发现最爱你的人。
当你经历过爱人与被爱，学会了爱，才会知道什么是你需要的，也才会找到最适合你，能够相处一背子的人。

2010-01-21T22:30:00.000+11:00

You will not realise what you got until you lose it. I lost something and I miss it.

You will not be satisfied until you feel satisfied with what you've got. I lost something.

You are smart. There is always someone smarter than you. Be humble.

Set goals for your life. Because life needs direction.

Love,

EARN

PS
Before I took my two months study leave in Sep and Oct 2009, I thought of working part time during that period. Little did I know, the two months had changed my life entirely.

2009-10-24T00:35:00.001+11:00

我不配

2009-08-10T22:00:00.002+10:00

Listen to this.

Hi all,

Two weeks ago, I was assigned to a job planning. I was in the team last year. The client's premise hasn't changed at all. The clients were as friendly and nice as they always were. The assignment made it clear to me that I have been working for over a year now.

Today at lunch, I met one colleague who joins the firm with me on the same day. While everyone was talking, I thought back, this one year ain't as bad. I'd been enjoying along. Just a short review:

What have I learned?
I learned to read a financial statement inside out. I learned to draft a management representation letter. I learned to prepare a cash flow statement. I learned about a company's internal control. I learned about the business industry and environment. I learned to perform variance analysis. I learned to perform the audit of registers and other non-accounting records. I learned to work out a basic tax computation. I learned about audit methodology and how to perform different type of audit procedures. I learned a bit about the Financial Reporting Standards(FRS) and etc.

At times, I felt I was treated unfairly by the firm. Sometimes it's because of the allocation. Sometimes it's because of the promotion. It's when I feel downhearted. But it helps me understand when you are working for people, the boss can always do whatever they want at your expenses. I got scolded by the director badly before for mistake I shouldn't have done. A lesson I will always rememyber.

One day, while I was on my way to client's premise, I was day-dreaming the way I am gonna write my farewell email to the people in my department. Sadly, it's not gonna be so soon. At least till I save enough money to pay back my firm.

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One day, the Rick Dees Weekly Top 40 Countdown was on the air and to my surprise, Rick cracked a good jokes. One lady called up and talked to Rick about how much her son likes the radio show and admires Rick. She said her son wants to become a radio personality like Rick. Later, she asks if it's possible for her son to talk to Rick. When the boy talks, then only Rick realise it was a prank. It was some guy saying, hey Rick.

I heard a Digi commercial on the radio. It says, we(Digi) don't charge you a full minute for calls that just seconds. A guy persistently call a girl and she's like, you called ten times already, still don't get it arh? It kind of reminds me of myself.

About money. I believe many have heard from me lately that I am broke. It is true. I am trying really hard to save money. I'd just sold my Playstation2 for a mere 270 Ringgit. I'd stopped renting car park which costs me 150 Ringgit every month. Hoping to save more.

Everyone has money problem. For the poor, it was not enough money. For the rich, it was too much money.

For my mum and dad, it was how much tax they are paying. I recall one day I got home from Kuala Lumpur. My mum sat on the sofa, upset. My sister told me earlier there was a tax investigation.

For my friends, it was how to make more money. I remember one day my innocent friend surprised me by telling me she's on internet making money. I hear ideas of how to make more money from time to time from different people.

For my colleagues and myself, it was whether or not we are getting the promotion and increment in salary.

The naked truth is that people get recognised for what car they drive, for how much they earn, and etc.

One experience helps me realise how costly it is nowaday and how important to have money. I was out for lunch one weekend. I had only 5 Ringgit in my wallet. I took some coins adding up my cash to 7 Ringgit. I was convinced it should be adequate. Unexpectedly, my lunch cost 12 Ringgit. I ended up withdrawing money from the nearest Maybank ATM.

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The MBPJ cut down trees surrounding my condo. There was a make over at the petrol station near my condo. My department had a new Head of Department.

Maybe the God is hinting me to make a change.

It's scary how easy it is to become resigned to my working life. I just go about my business same as always. Thats why even the tiniest change in the dynamic can seem monumental. For me i am fine with my life because I knew the payout will always outweigh the cost.

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Three weeks ago, I had a quarrel with my senior. I am sorry, senior.

I was just stress and disappointed amid what's happening in the department, even if I haven't realised that this job is changing me already because it comes with host of overwhelming responsibilities including working late.

I got this damn voice in my head telling me I am being treated unfairly and I desperately need someone on the other side to tell me what I should do whether I wants to hear it or not. And senior, you just did it.

Others came to me in explain about the situation which I would automatically say no. But you came and shout at me. I knew it was something I have to take a look at.

All I wanted was to have a long drive home, to be with my family (Rocky, you too) and celebrate my mum's birthday. I needed some time off to digest and to understand what'd happened. It was a difficult time for me. I am glad I took the time off and I am happy and I am over it now.

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I believe many have heard(since I have been telling everyone) that I am gonna be participating in the tennis game of the Inter-Accounting Firm Games(IAFG). It was played on the 3rd of Aug and I'd lost it. After nine weeks of practice, nine weeks of backache, finally it is over.

IAFG

Last Saturday, the 1st day of August, it was our firm's Community day. We went to Morib Beach and Kelanang Beach to clean the area. In addition, we brought along orphans from Yayasan Salam Orphanage to the beach. We built kites and played beach soccer with these orphans. I thought it was quite fun compared to what we did last year. On the same weekend, 2nd of August, it was my dad's birthday. Happy Birthday, dad.

I just got back from my department trip to Malacca yesterday. I tried the famous Malacca chicken rice ball but missed the satay celup. To my surprise, the Malacca town was quite a nice, historical and cultural place to travel. But, sadly we are staying at A'Famosa Resort which is located 45 minutes drive from the Malacca town.

On the same weekend were many of my friends' convocations. I regretted that I missed the opportunity to attend any one of them. Congratulation to Yat Teng, Choon Seng, Siok Hoon, and etc.

On my way back from Malacca, there was a long traffic jam on the other side of the road. I think there are more than a thousand cars filling up all the lanes on the road. I do not know why, but I like it. Seeing it, makes me feel that I am small and tiny.

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I recall last year I had a client near the Berjaya Times Square. Every morning, I park inside the Berjaya Times Square and I need to walk out across to the building opposite. I always take the short cut way out through the DÔME Café. Every morning, the staff greets and says hi, good morning to me (though, I didn't buy anything). I thought it was really nice. It was a really nice gesture.

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Okay, see you guy. Got back to my old habit, gaming. I am currently playing Call of Duty: World at War.

Love,

EARN

PS
Talk to a fella at Sony center just now. He was recommending me to buy a 32" HD LCD for my Playstation3. Very tempting. Ha-ha.

PPS
I started reading books lately. I finished two books and bought another two. Any recommendation?

PPPS
After just got back from one month holiday in April. I am taking another two months off starting from end of August to end of October.

PPPPS
Roger and Mirka had their twin girls, Myla Rose and Charlene Riva.

PPPPPS
They are amazing.

2009-07-05T04:07:00.000+10:00

I need help. Please help, anyone.

Beautiful day

2009-06-01T01:00:00.007+10:00

One hand's on the radio, jumping from one station to another, searching for the right melody that suits my mood. Another hand's on the steering driving home from SS2 after dinner. My ears were not liking any of the songs on air. I am not listening at all.

It's always like this in life. If I had just paid a little more attention to any of the songs on air, I would have liked any one of them. Sometimes time passes so fast, life goes on so fast, I am not knowing what I have been missing.

If I'd never listened to you, I would never know..
You had an english name, Carmen;
You like books so much;
You are single-parented;
You are good at singing;
You had a daughter;
You plan to work oversea;
You are so devoted to love;
You actually care about me;
You are so special.

If you get to know me well, you will know that I am never a good communicator; I tend to be frivolous. I am always unsteady; I never learn to be serene. I am bad at reading; I never finish a book. I am a slow and soft talker.

Two weeks ago, my workplace had a staff evaluation session, in which, seniors are asked to evaluate their juniors. Only when it's happening, I thought, what would anyone says anything about me. No idea. I know nothing basically. For the past year, I have always been doing what I am told to do. And usually that is it. I am not technically strong; I know nothing about Auditing or Accounting Standards. I am slow at learning and doing things. I tend to spend too much time on unnecessary things.

Only when I start to compare myself to other, I realise how lucky am I still working in the department. There are so many amazing people around whom I am waiting to learn from, individually.

This reminds me of the day when even Mcdonald can't make me smile. It was when my company announced that there will not be any promotion in June due to the economic situation back then.

Sometime I think I am living out one story but the truth turns out to be something else entirely. At that time, I was wanting out because of not getting the promotion in June. If only I understood what's the real story was - it was never whether or not you got promoted. It's always been whether or not, you learn enough.

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Attended my colleague's farewell party at Italiannies, One Utama after work. A drink with ex-uni mate after that wrapped up my last Friday night. Woke up Saturday morning, not knowing what to do. To be honest, it was really weird. It's hard to recall the last time I felt bored to this extent. I spent the whole day, doing nothing at all (did my laundry and had a few swings at the golf range next One Utama, though). So, I figured. I had been working since last year. And, I have to say, it has always been working. So, I sort of lost my way/life. I think I'd just lost it. I am no longer doing what I used to do during my free time.

Man, I gotta get back.

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It was 2.30a.m. in the morning (last Thursday). It was raining lightly. I walked outside and was surprised by the crowd. It's just amazing how football bring people together. Barcelona won the UEFA Champion League.

Got up and got to work. I had to admit. I am sick. I had been feeling unwell for past few weeks since my exam. But, I finally went to the doc and had a long twelve-hours sleep after work. Thank god.

Thanks for reading. It's 1a.m. already. Good night.

Love,

EARN

PS
"Passion is key. Keep an eye on what you could improve and see where your potential is so you can work on your weaker points. Having a long term goal is important. There is no substitute for hard work and dedication. This is vital." Roger Federer

PPS
Feeling happy. Scored two goals during futsal session with colleague. But, my feet is arching.

Back to work

2009-05-08T22:30:00.001+10:00

Hi,

A month ago, I was so tired of work. I started my leave and got back home(town).

While on leave, I started playing tennis, spending time with my parent, sleeping, meeting friend, spending time with my dog and fishes, watching sports, not working..

.. and studying..

The good thing about being home(town) is that I am more relaxed and stress-free. Bad thing about it is that I cannot focused myself and am always being distracted by little things in life.

While I am concentrating on studies, I am sort of aware of the things/news happening around the world like the spread of A (H1N1) flu, previously known as swine flu, across the globe and the bankruptcy of US's third-largest automaker Chrysler.

A month later..

.. exam is now over.

I don't really care how I did. I am glad to be back working though it is tiring. Almost a dozen of people have resigned during my (one month) leave. I wonder when is my turn.

EARN

PS
Happy Mother's Day

PPS
I miss you, Rocky.

2009-03-30T19:55:00.000+11:00

Finally, my study leave started.

2009-03-21T20:20:00.001+11:00

Not even Mcdonald can makes me smile now.

Happy Chinese New Year 2009

2009-01-28T23:00:00.015+11:00

I am feeling a little rusty writing.

Hi.

Before starting, I called my eldest sister and talked to her for like 44 second just to wish her a safe journey to UK. She is leaving with her husband tomorrow morning. After lunch yesterday and before my sister left, my grandmother hugged her and cried. I cried too, in my heart.

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Not long ago, it was Christmas and New Year. It reminds me of last year's Christmas and New Year. I felt somehow, 2008 had passed a little too quickly. Maybe it is because I have been working for the second half of 2008. So many things happened. Thinking about it frightens me. I hope I can slow down a little. I am getting really old and I am scared. So many things I have yet to achieve.

It's the 3rd day of Chinese New Year and I have already left my hometown. Not exactly what I wanted, but... it is what I got to do. I was back and when I was having my dinner at a Mamak, I watched the Australian Open 2009 (Nadal won Simon in straight set). It reminds me of 2008's Australian Open. I was there last year.

For the past 6 months or so, I have spent most of my time with work. I am doing audit with KPMG.

KPMG

In the past six months, I have been slowly learning. I have been allocated to three Public Limited Company audits and two Reporting audits. I was exposed to Electrical and Electronic, Engineering & Contracting Services, Lighting Manufacturers, Land And Real Estate, and Automotive Component Manufacturing industry. I have met people ranging from Chairman to Finance Manager to Project Manager to Account Clerk to Store Keeper from different companies. Bangi, Kg Baru Subang, Gebeng, Kuala Lumpur, Proton City, Port Klang, Seri Kembangan, Bukit Beruntung,.. are places I traveled to at job. I did not know the way to seven out of eight places I listed above. Annual Dinner, Promotion Dinner, Community Day, Christmas Dinner,.. are just some activities/events I participated/attended in.

Long hour, tedious, tight deadline, unmotivated, stress,.. I have experienced them all.

Proton City, Tanjung Malim

My Senior, Xue Yin and I at KPMG's annual dinner.

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To my family, this year it is a little different. My twin sister were married recently. Despite of having an Openhouse, I felt my house/family was in some manner a little quiet than it used to. Maybe it is because I am feeling fatigue. Or maybe it is because I was rushing back and did not get to meet most of my friends.

I feel a little different and weird.

During the Reunion Dinner, I felt leftout.

On the the First Day of the New Year, I overslept. Later, I was getting my house ready for Openhouse. Then, my friends visited me and had a bit of gamble. A group of my dad's friends came at night and started questioning me the hardest question of all,

"Where is your girlfriend?"

"When are you getting married??"

"Why don't work in Kuantan?"

Chinese New Year 2009

My twin sister

Ang Pao from my twin sisters.

I got a new dog. It is a Rottweiler.

Introducing Rocky.

Done writing. Bye Bye.

/

Merry belated Christmas, Happy belated New Year and Happy Chinese New Year to all,

EARN

PS
Sis, I am gonna miss you a lot while you are away.

PPS
I passed my exam and I am taking 3 papers this May.

I just received my study materials. Looking at them, I am a little stress already.

2008-10-27T21:56:00.001+11:00

Exam is over. Glad to be back working.

Let me introduce you to my mother

2008-10-18T20:03:00.006+11:00

My mum just called me reminding me to go to church tomorrow morning because I have not been going for quite some time.

This is my mother, by the way.

My mum and I in Beijing.

All Of My Heart,

EARN

PS
I will go anyway. I want to go and pray for my exam like I always do before exam.

I love you all

2008-10-15T21:50:00.011+11:00

Hello everyone.

Logging in Blogger.com after some time; logging in MSN Messenger after some time; I felt like I have left many things behind.

Today, when I was driving my way back to Kuala Lumpur, I felt asleep... I turned awake almost instantly. Thank GOD I am still alive! Subsequently, I was well alert over the journey.

To explain my fatigue, I have to rewind a few weeks back. I have not had sufficient sleep/rest in the past few weeks due to job commitment.

Furthermore, during the past few weeks, I have been paying for the toll of the Kuantan-Kuala Lumpur Expressway more often than I have ever been. I traveled back and forth between Kuantan and Kuala Lumpur twice for my sister's wedding. Witnessing my sister's wedding, I could not help but think about myself.

"What about mine?"

"When?"

and
"Where?"

most importantly
"Who is going to walk down the aisle?"

I have always claimed that I want to get married early. But now when I really think about it, it is not as easy as saying it.

I worked late one Friday night. I drove myself home. At the side of the road, I saw a fruit stall was still operating. After tagging in, I drove myself into the car park, I saw a worker was still washing car. I thought to myself, "What a Friday night, I am not alone."

In Kuala Lumpur, it had always been raining lately. During Hari Raya, I encountered an accident on the Karak Expressway, a gray colored car was upside down. It was raining heavily outside. I could not see a thing tho' I had my wiper speed at max. I wondered, "What a Hari Raya for you, hope you will be alright."

Not long ago, my old schoolmates had a gathering. It was sweet and plain. Somehow, I felt lost. Glad to catch up with old buddies.

I attended two tutorial workshops during the weekend that just passed. It felt so... weird... back-into-college feeling... But it was nice. I got to meet a few long-lost friends and got to chat with people who I have not had any chance to talk to lately.

Love,

EARN

PS
Oh yea. I am study leave now. Glad to have a break.

PPS
I am sitting for a paper on the 23rd Oct. Wish me luck.

2008-10-11T04:38:00.002+11:00

I do not understand. I do not know. What's the difference? What makes the difference?

I can not sleep.

2008-08-22T21:30:00.001+10:00

Hello everyone.

Long haven't I updated myself. I am doing good and I am really happy with work; I got to know a lot of amazing and great people.

I am a little sad today after reading what Roger Federer said about Rafael Nadal, who replaced him as the World No. 1,

"Rafa played great to get it. That's what I expected and hoped for, many years ago when I got to No. 1, that if ever somebody were to take it away for me, he would have to play an incredible tennis schedule, win the biggest tournaments, dominate the game basically, and then like this he can take No. 1. So I think Rafa totally deserves it."

uhmm.. -Speechless-

A while ago, during the interview after losing to Rafa in the Wimbledon final, Roger cried.

The US Open is gonna start soon. I wish Roger the best.

Other the other hand, Beijing 2008 Olympic Games is going on. I hope I have more time to watch it.

uhmm.. that's basically it. I have to start studying for my CPA examination in October.

Enjoy your weekend and uhmm., Good Bye.

Love,

EARN

PS
I am going back Kuantan next weekend.

Beijing, the host city of the Olympic 2008

2008-07-04T23:26:00.014+10:00

Hi everyone again!

Uhm... as I walked out from the cinema, I thought wow, what a love story Hancock is.

"Angels are designed in a way that they can love, live and die like human..."

/

/

Uhm... I'm just gonna talk a lil bit about my recent trip to Beijing......

Exactly one week ago, I was at the Kuala Lumpur International Airport. My mother and I just got back from Beijing. We went there for my sister's graduation convocation.

It was a tiring and yet fun trip.

On arrival, the 22nd, my mother and I were taken by my sister to a high-toned restaurant for Peking Roast Duck (北京烤鸭). It is a famous dish in Beijing. Thin, crispy skin and little meat are sliced delicately in front of us and served by the cook.

We then attended a performance by the China National Acrobatic Troupe. Initially I thought it's gonna be boring, but I was then astonished by the talent of the troupe. But, I am surprised to see some of those performers are actually very young. Also, due to the nature of the performance, most of those performers are very short. Their bodies didn't develop properly and it's sad to see.

/

/

The next morning, my mother and I were waken up by my sister to go on to a ride for 2 hours to get to the Great Wall of China (万里长城).

We then climbed for several hours to get to the final and no.12 tower.

Climbing the Great Wall of China.

Up there on the final tower, there is this incredible view.

On top of the world.

We were all exhausted after the trip. We rested in a famous restaurant for Dim sum (点心).

After Dim sum, we hired a trishaw (三轮车) to ride around the famous Hutongs (胡同). In Beijing, Hutongs are alleys formed by lines of siheyuan (四合院), traditional courtyard residences. We were invited into a siheyuan and were told of the tradition in Beijing.

We then strolled along the Lotus Lane (荷花市场) near the Houhai (后海). There are numerous popular restaurants, bars, and cafes there.

/

/

The next day is my sister's graduation convocation.

I am really proud of her.

/

/

On Day 4, we visited the Forbidden City, the Chinese Imperial Palaces, the Palace Museum (故宫博物院).

It's really huge inside. There are many different buildings and halls for different purposes. Zhong He Dian, Bao He Dian, Qian Qing Gong, Yang Xin Dian, Tai Ji Dian, Ti Shun Tang and Yong Shou Gong are just a few names. Interestingly, we were able to visit the room once served as the room of the Emperor.

After spending half a day in the Forbidden City, we travelled to the Wángfǔjǐng street (王府井大街). It's one of the most famous shopping streets. The entire street is full of people.

At one end, there is a Snack Street (王府井小吃街) where deep fried insects, scorpions, and sea creatures can be found, along with other animals and animal parts not ordinarily consumed as food. I had some common snacks such as 拉面, 羊肉串儿 and 撒尿牛丸. They taste really good.

/

/

On the last day, we jaunted to the Beijing Olympic Village to see the Beijing National Stadium and Beijing National Aquatics Centre. They are both amazing, architecturally. They are known as the "Bird's Nest" (鸟巢) and the Water Cube (水立方) for their architecture.

Behind me is the "Bird's Nest".

Early that day, we walked around in the Summer Palace, the Imperial Garden (颐和园). Again, like the Forbidden City, it's breathtakingly big and beautiful inside.

Over the Kunming Lake towards Yu Quan Hill with Yu Feng Pagoda.

And then finally, the Silk Street (秀水街). It's a shopping center that accommodates over 1000++ retail vendors. There is a wide selection of counterfeit designer brand products. At the beginning, I do not really like it. But after spending hours there, I find one thing exceptional and unique about it: their culture. Their sale promoters set their own price and then allow some negotiations. Sometimes, when I say 40% of the price they set, I will get the buy. On the flip side, sometimes, when I say 40%, I will get scolded. I am serious. They literally scold you. I am not sure if they have been through some sort of trainings or not. But from what I have observed, they speak more than one language; they have outstanding negotiation skills.

Lastly, I am astounded by the architecture in Beijing. There are uncountable tall and architecturally striking buildings. Also, I am shocked by the amount of preparation needed for the Olympic 2008. New subway line established; new road; new building and etc. The marketing of the Fuwa (福娃), the mascot, the symbolic figure of the Olympic impressed me most. There is a Beijing 2008 Olympic Store everywhere in Beijing and merchandises in any form are available. T-shirt; key chain; doll and etc. I bought a few.

Good night.

Love,

EARN

Relocation

2008-07-03T23:30:00.000+10:00

Hi everyone!

I have moved into a room in Bandar Utama and have started working.

Love,

EARN

Untitled

2008-06-15T19:45:00.018+10:00

Hi everyone!

In the past few months, I felt turbulence every where I go. So many disasters. Firstly the cyclone that caused the deadliest natural disaster in the history of Myanmar. Then the Sichuan earthquake. Personally, I was looking for my first job. Domestically, the effects of the increase in fuel price have started.

On the 5th of June 2008, new petrol and diesel prices were announced.

Petrol Price: RM2.70 (previously RM1.92)
Diesel Price: RM2.58 (previously RM1.58)

I remember I was driving home on the 4th after playing tennis with my brother in-law. Most roads were grid-locked as long queues of cars lined up at petrol station to fill up.

Following the fuel price increase, cabbies to raise fare, the police need an additional RM32mil annually to cover operational costs, bus and lorry companies to increase charges, manufacturers to pass on any increase in costs to consumers and etc.

The construction industry has been impacted badly. Cost of construction materials such as brick, cement, gravel and sand, steel, tiles and rock are more expensive in view of the recent fuel price increase. House prices to go up by 30%.

Someone said to my dad if this continues, in a few months time many contractors/small and medium-sized enterprises will go bankrupt as if "durian fruits drop from the tree".

A large group protested against the recent fuel price hike in KL. People continued to question why Malaysia, as a net petroluem exporting nation, was experiencing a negative impact from a spike in global oil price.

The government is feeling the pressure to 'do something' to ease the economic woes. They have proposed a few measures to reduce burden on consumers. Some of those are income tax relief, reduction of interest rate for soft loans, road tax reduction, public transport improvement, cash rebate, toll rates reduction, fuel card plan and etc.

But what's the point in doing that. It is like "moving money from the left pocket to the right pocket", said Dr M. Both way, they have to spend.

I know it is inevitable to increase the petrol price as the worldwide oil prices rise. But shouldn't the government be more thoughtful? If they are to raise the petrol price, aren't they supposed to give people a few months notice. Measures to reduce burden on consumers should be thought beforehand and not after. Does the government do last-minute work in Uni too?

People cried out loud for a change in leadership in Malaysia.

"Datuk Seri Najib and I have decided on the right time for me to hand over the premiership to him", said Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi yesterday.

Datuk Seri Najib? Does it make any difference?

I don't know.

I did not know that a petrol price hike could have such a big impact to the economy as a whole. Surging prices for oil, food and other commodities are threatening economic growth. People in Malaysia are cutting back on spending and changing their lifestyles. Some are being forced to take up a second job.

So many disasters are happening......

Japan quake toll rises to 10...

Iowa goes under water as river burst banks...

62 dead in China floods...

Gales and storms continued to pound southern China. Millions of residents are suffering. Despite those, their loud crying voices in the newspaper are simply ignored by Malaysian these day.

The price of oil will continue to rise, that's for sure. I wonder how people are going to survive and hang in there. I do not know how the world is going to cope with it. It's going to be bad.

/

/

I like it

/

/

"Just want to tell you, you have been offered the job......"

It took me almost 3 months to finally hear that. Thank GOD! You have been too good to me. I have finally passed the "find a job exam" and have now realised how tough it might get if you do not have the right mindset.

I have to admit I was very childish and emotional at first. It has been one of the most difficult times in my life. I remember when I was rejected by the first company I applied to, I took it as if it is the end of the world. When I got rejected by the second company I applied to, I lost faith, confidence and cool. I got desperate. I thought I am never going to find a job.

Then I discovered the support my family and friends have given me......

"Maybe that job isn't the right job for you......"

"They do not usually reply immediately. Those companies have thousand and thousand of applications to go through......"

"Think from their perspective, they are fighting against their competitors to get you......"

Then I managed to remain patient and calm and think positively. After all, I had a few offers and 3 months is not unreasonably long for job seeking.

This job seeking process had taken its toll on me, physically. Having to travel to KL back and forth almost every week.

/

/

I am starting my career. And I know I am just one ordinary lad. I have plenty to learn.

/

/

While I was looking for job, I stayed at one of my friends' place in KL. And we were talking.

"Why are you always troubled with love? We talk about your love problem every time," he asked.

"Ha ha ha, I don't know. I'm a human with deep feeling," I answered.

Then he responded, "Oh yea... You're a love animal."

Amor no es un sentimiento, es una capacidad. In Spanish it means Love is not a Feeling but Ability. I heard of it in the movie, Dan in Real Life.

It is starting to make sense to me. Think about it. Some people are always dull and numb towards love. Some do not want to even talk about love. On the flip side, some people very sensitive and emotional. Some people fall into love easily. Some people cry for love.

I think I am more like the latter. I have relatively strong loving ability.

/

/

This languorous morning in the church was evidence of too many sleepless nights. I have been sicked and it is Euro 2008 Football Fever.

Wesley Sneijder, David Villa and Cristiano Ronaldo are among the hottest topics.

I have been following the NBA Final too. The Boston Celtic is one win away from winning it. Give full credit to the Management of the Boston Celtic for making two big deals (Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen) and turning a 24win 58lose to a 66win 16lose championship winning team.

In US Open, Tiger Woods seemed like he's going to win it.

The Championships, Wimbledon starts on the 23rd. Roger Federer lost 6-1, 6-3, 6-0 to Nadal at Roland Garros just recently. It was one of the most crushing defeats he has ever suffered. Clay and grass are two very different surfaces; I believe he is going to turn it around and win a sixth successive title at Wimbledon.

Love,

EARN

PS
Today's Father's day. Happy Father's Day!

PPS
I'm going to KL tomorrow to look for a place urgently. I'm going to China on the 22nd for my sister's graduation convocation. I have to. She flew from Beijing to Sydney for mine.

2008-04-03T14:21:00.009+11:00

I skipped UEFA Champions League quarter final yesterday.

How I Met Your Mother has stopped for awhile and has recently continued. I downloaded and watched the latest episode. It was so so sweeeet. I don't usually feel like that. It doesn't usually feel that way. It was usually just funny.

I watched it again and again because it's really sweet. I wonder why and realise why. Maybe I am in love. I mean, I like someone. At least I'm in one-sided love. I have someone to relate to when I am watching. When you are in love, it feels so much better.

Now I understand why women like love stories/movies/series. Maybe because they are always in love. I mean at least they always have strong passion in love. Now I realised how stupid am I to describe korean or japanese love story series as stupid, meaningless and boring.

I am the stupid, meaningless and boring one.

Love stories/movies/series don't usually start and end without ups and downs; hopes and despairs. Like in How I Met Your Mother, Ted hasn't even found 'the one' he's looking for. It's the passion and belief that make love special.

I want to tell you at least how I feel towards you, I'm not gonna ask anything in return, I promise. You guy look so much better together, you guy're gonna be great together. I know it's not a good idea. Maybe I should just keep it for myself.

Love,

EARN

PS
I'm leaving in less 3 hours.

PPS
I haven't seen you for more than a week. I will go and see you when I get back. It's a promise to myself. I know I might not have the chance to see you again in the future.

Heart Broken

2008-03-11T16:25:00.032+11:00

My heart is like a heart-shaped sponge letting out sourish blood. So much blood, my rib cage is slowly dissolving. My heart is breathing heavily inside my rib cage. So heavily, my rib cage is slowly crushing.

/

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/

I have not written a proper post for like three months. Just when I thought that I am okay without writing one, I realised I am not. I need to express some of my thoughts.

I am heart broken. And I need to write it out.

These three months have been long for me. So, I will summarise it short.

First, I got my result, and it was far from what I expected. I was disappointed but I'd got over it. Then, I celebrated a wonderful Christmas eve, Christmas and New Year eve with friends.

New Year eve 2008 was an experience I will never forget. I still remember after the annual fireworks spectacular at the Opera House and Harbour Bridge, more than a million revellers were walking on George Street. It was the most people I have ever seen in my life at one place. It was really crazy and unbelievable.

Just a snap on George Street

Then, I travelled around Sydney thoroughly. Then, I visited Brisbane, Gold Coast and Melbourne and went to the Australian Open 2008.

And then, it was like a dream comes true. I saw Roger Federer. He even signed me a tennis ball.

Australian Open 2008 tennis ball with Roger Federer's autograph on it

Some pictures taken in Sydney, Brisbane, Gold Coast, Melbourne and the Australian Open 2008

Then, I packed my stuff and prepared to go back to Malaysia. It was pretty fun clearing out my stuff from the room I have been living in for almost one and a half years.

On the 2nd of Feb, it was my flight back to Malaysia. My friend was there at the airport until the very last hour of my time in Australia. I am going to miss Sydney, Australia and my friends a lot.

And then, I am back (finally after one year). There have been so many changes since I left. Many things have happened. Fishes in my house's pond have grown big, my uncle has a new born girl, my cousin has a new girlfriend, my another cousin has his first girlfriend, my sister is getting married, new restaurant, new cafe and the list goes on..

There are good and bad changes. The aunt who used to clean my house has passed away. I was really sad when my mum told me about it. I am going miss her a lot.

Teng Teng, my new born cousin

Then, on the 7th of Feb, it was Chinese New Year 2008. It was a great Chinese New Year, I had some very great time with families and friends.

Some pictures taken during CNY 2008

And then on the 2nd of March, I saw her. She caught my eyes. I have been going to the megamall almost everyday since. Sometimes it is just 5 min, sometimes it is longer. But the reason is always to see her, a long distance glance. The RM1.50 parking charge I pay everytime I go there is like a ticket to see her. Argh, I am crazy. I know nothing about her, but she got blue eyes and she is tall.

On the 6th of March, a fish died. It was really sad.

My dad digging hole

R.I.P

On the 8th of March, it was my country's general election. I do not really have any opinion. I am eligible to vote, I wanted to vote, but I am not registered to do so.

Yesterday I was chatting with my friend, Angela. She asked whether have I found a job or not and I replied no. The conversation continues..

Haha, it was really funny, candid and serious at the same time. She was so right, I can not just sit at home waiting for them to call me.

I just came back from a swim. I could not help myself but think about her. So, I went swimming. I can at least be alone in the water. It is blue and quiet inside the water.

2008-01-10T12:15:00.000+11:00

No time to blog recently. I will probably blog one when I get to Melbourne. As I am going back to Kuantan soon, I have a poll question for you guy.

2007-12-18T19:09:00.000+11:00

Result's coming out MIDNIGHT!

/

/

/

/

I am scared!

Less than 5 hours to go.

I have unofficially graduated

2007-12-14T03:10:00.003+11:00

Unbelievable tree.

It is cold here. It rains sometimes.

It is nice here. The grass simply looks greener nowadays, for me.

I am leaving Sydney soon. So, I am getting rid of all the stuff that I got here. I sold my Taxation Law textbook a few days ago. The buyer asked when did you study Taxation Law. I answered this semester, the one just finished. Then he asked so you haven't officially passed the subject, is that right. And I said yea. Then he questioned, are you sure you're gonna pass.

I thought for a second and replied yea, pretty sure.

So often in life we are not prepared for the uncertainty in the future. I try not to think about it. I try not to be too pessimistic.

Very soon, I will find out my result anyway.

/

/

More than three weeks ago..

I was preparing for exam. The last paper, Taxation Law was not the worst paper I have ever had. I managed to stay quite relaxed. I was not sure why. Whether it was because that the questions are not that hard or I have got used to having exam or I was so near from completing my Bachelor of Business I simply do not care anymore.

As my paper was collected, I was suddenly flooded with relief. Stresses and strains endured during the semester; fatigue and emotional tension suffered throughout the semester were no longer retained.

All over my Bachelor of Business, I have prepared for so many exams; I have been to so many exam; I have finished so many exams. But I have never got used to the feeling or joy of completing a semester. The ending of a semester is always special. This time is undoubtedly the best I have ever had.

/

/

So, I have finished all twenty four subjects in my Bachelor of Business and have received 144 credit points. I have unofficially graduated.

So being graduated, different? not different?

It is the same mostly. Nothing really special about it. I am still living life like I used to. My life is not going to have a big difference until I have a job. And I am really worried about it.

/

/

The other day, I chatted with someone. When I said I have graduated. Her immediate response was how old are you.

I can not deny anymore that I am old. Now that I have graduated. Quite clearly, the next thing is having a job/career. I am not a student anymore. Soon, people is going to call me uncle.

I even feel that the Friendster is no longer suitable for me. I am getting less interested in it because I am way above the average age there. I just knew someone who is six years younger than me there and it is really making me feel like an uncle. I just signed up for Facebook.

/

/

Last few weeks, I had some bad dreams. I woke up in fear of not being prepared for exam. Then only I realised there is not any more exam. It happened a few times already. I guess I was too stressed during the exam. I am back from a trip and I am feeling much better now.

Here are some pictures taken during my trip to Cairns.

The trip to Cairns was great. Just a little too pricy.

2007-12-08T19:05:00.000+11:00

I will blog soon. Just not in the mood.

Cairns

2007-11-27T12:10:00.000+11:00

I am going to Cairns for four days.

What's next?

2007-11-26T22:45:00.000+11:00

It ends. It is over. It is finished. What is next?

/

/

This long till I reach Kuantan.

England Out

2007-11-22T16:31:00.000+11:00

England Out was the heading on ESPNsoccernet when I came back from my third paper this afternoon. I finished my third paper and I am left with only one more taxation paper (which is an easier paper compared to any other paper that I have taken). The news was icing on the cake. I could not be happier.

Once again, it is proven that english football is not the best in the world. Not my opinion but expert's.

Those football analysts on ESPNsoccernet were talking about England does not qualify for Euro 2008. One of them said, I just don't think the players were good enough. We couldn't compete with a medium size level nation like croatia. Another one said, Premier League is a wonderful league to watch, not many of the top players/key actors in the Premier League are englishman. And another said, the perception, (I mean) english supporters, and media feel that they are the best in the world. They're not. There's a reason why they haven't won anything since 1966.

Since 1966?? I did not realise that. They have not won anything for over 40 years? And that is a cool fact.

Why do they even think that they are the best in the world? They are not even better than Croatia and Russia (two teams that qualify from the same group as English's). Maybe it is time for them to stop claiming that they are the best in the world and they are as good as Spain, Germany, Italy, Portugal or France. And maybe they should associate themselve with nation like Kazakhstan, Armenia, Faroe Islands, Cyprus, Macedonia or even Albania.

Also stop writing Frank Lampard as one of the best midfielder in the world and Wayne Rooney as the best striker in the world. They are not.

/

/

It has been long since I last wrote about Roger Federer. Here are somethings, Federer Named 'Court King' in GQ's 'Men of the Year' Issue. Beside, he just collected the 53rd title of his career and a fourth Tennis Masters Cup in five years. He also clinched the year-end No. 1 ranking for the fourth consecutive year. And interestingly, he beat Pete Sampras 6-4, 6-3 in Seoul, South Korea in an exhibition match.

What's gonna happen

2007-11-12T14:28:00.000+11:00

What's going on in my country?

Sigh.

The largest political anti-government rally since supporters of Anwar Ibrahim in September 1998.

I have been trying to study lately for my final exam. But what is happening in my home country is bothering me. Everyday, I read news about those protests. I am not very into political issues. My friends always talk about political matters and triad stories. I have always ignored those topics simply because it is not something I can do or say anything about it. Therefore, my friends always say I am in Dreamworld where there is no crime; where it is always peaceful.

Malaysia is nevertheless my home country, could I just sit aside when I am mature enough to understand and know my rights.

As I said I am not into political issues. But we all are aware of those political conspiracies such as 9/11 theories, underworld activities such as loan sharking, pirated discs and goods, prostitution, drugs, illegal gambling and murder.

Who knows what really happened. Who knows who is behind everything. And who has the power to stop or have a say about it. Discussion of such matters is usually viewed as a sensitive matter or even illegal.

Things just happen. Who is going hear my voice?

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/

We always want 'fair and just'.

But it is sometimes obvious and apparent that political jurisdiction in Malaysia has always been acting in the interests of Bumiputra at the expense of the Chinese and Indian minorities. Despite our nominal status as a citizen or legal resident, we have been treated in many instances as second-class citizen.

Article 153 of the Constitution of Malaysia, most controversial articles safeguards the rights and privileges of the Malay and protects the interest of Bumiputra by establishing quotas for entry into the civil service, public scholarships, public education and etc.

It is a type of law that is used in the past to protect indigenous peoples from being overwhelmed by the immigrant. But now, it seems like it is serving a different purpose. It protects only Malay. It only benefits the Bumiputra. It creates a racial distinction between Malaysians of different ethnic backgrounds.

In 1987, Dato' Sri Mohd Najib bin Tun Haji Abdul Razak, the current Deputy Prime Minister defended special Malay privileges in a speech where he vowed to bathe the keris with Chinese blood. Dato' Seri Hishammuddin bin Tun Hussein, cousin of Dato' Sri Mohd Najib bin Tun Haji Abdul Razak and the current Malaysian Education Minister sent the similar message at the 2005 UMNO Annual General Meeting, where he waved the keris and threatened those who opposed the Malay special rights.

As a Chinese in Malaysia, are you still convinced or secure offering them political power?

I feel a little lack of security when I thought about it. It is where I am going stay for the next probably 60-80 (hehe) years; probably work; start my own family and etc.

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/

I did not know there are judicial corruption and electoral fraud in my country. I thought Barisan Nasional won it fairly. But it has been rumored and even proven by some people that it is reasonable to believe that there are.

So now, Malaysians are asking for 'freedom and democracy' and 'free and fair' elections. They are demanding an election system reform that removes phantom (ghost) voters, repeated voting, usage of absentee ballots, vote-buying and other irregularities in electoral practice.

Is this going to change anything?

Maybe I am just a little too concerned about it. It is normal. Just let things happen. It is not what I can do anything about it. I was recently introduced to Raja Petra Kamarudin's, who many regard as the champion of justice and anti-corruption in Malaysia blog, Malaysia Today. His voice will be heard by many.

Final exam, final semester, study, crunch-time...

End of my Sixth Semester

2007-11-08T14:45:00.001+11:00

Start of a semester is always special. I always set my targets and aims (which are not achieved) at the beginning of a semester. Ending is also special. Students seldom pay attention to it though because they are too busy and excited of celebration and holiday.

This morning was my last class of this semester, my sixth semester, my final semester. I did not realise this fact earlier, this morning, during the class, or yesterday night. I went to the class as usual. The class was as usual boring.

This morning class was Kelly's, the tutor who I hate. After class, I was talking to my friend outside the class. Kelly turned to us and told us, you guy are suppose to be studying, not talking. She smiled and left.

She is right. I should get going.

Only ten days left.

Getting Serious

2007-11-03T20:20:00.000+11:00

15 days to my final final exam.

I just uninstalled my favourite game from my laptop. It's time to get serious.

The only thing that matters is the ending. It's the most important part of the story. And I am making sure this one, is very good, making sure it is perfect.

2007-10-26T14:47:00.000+10:00

changed my blog's template and color. hope it looks clearer and brighter.

gonna rain again later.

A Night in Uni

2007-10-19T23:06:00.000+10:00

'hey! hey!'
someone woke me up. it was a fat security guard. it was friday morning 0530. he woke my friend up and told us not to sleep in the uni.
'you can not sleep here. it's dangerous. i will send you home if i see you sleeping again.'

yea, i slept in my uni. i stayed back after my thursday morning class to finish my assignment. oh yea, speaking of my thursday morning class. the tutor was the one who i hate very much who i said in my previous blog post that she looks like,

i found a picture of her recently, and to prove that i didnt bluff you guy. here is it. see? she really looks like that. i did very badly in the mid-semester exam for her subject because she is simply a terrible lecturer. i went to consult her and see my paper after my class. she kept nagging. i was so pissed off.

back to my assignment, my friend and i were struggling all the time doing the assignment. it wasnt easy at all. unsure and unconvincing. kept seeking for assistance from friends.(1) stuck and puzzled from time to time. couldnt get it done. felt as if we're never gonna finish it; felt like crying at times.

we were there til mid night. we had dinner there. i'd never been in uni that late. haha, it was fun. quiet. tranquil. nobody.

but there're some. those who my friend called 'mangkali singh'. im reali not too sure what race are they, but mangkali singh suits them well.

there was this mangkali singh at a corner, who looked reali sleepy. his eyes were as if closed. my friend and i are a bit racist i guess. we said those mangkali singh dont have a home, uni is where they stay.

it was already mid night, those mangkali singh were stil as if having party, not being at home, not sleeping, laughing in a group, and staying in uni. some were even kissing and hugging. outrageous.

the assignment was so tough. we asked answers from so many friends to compare with ours. occasionally, we worked out something. it was a great feeling.

while doing the assignment, i talked to one of my friends via iloveim, and he found out that my friend and i were in uni. he drove all the way over to do the assignment with me. his groupmate was in bed already. i felt for him.

the first thing he said when he arrived was
'i'd never been here this late, take a picture for me.' funny dude. he came for awhile felt tired and went back.

my groupmate and i were hungry, we went out to 7eleven and bought some instant noodles. it was so cold outside.

my friend, he has a long term gf(2), they stay together. during his time in uni, they chatted on internet, talked on phone, talked about what he ate for dinner, talked about what time is he coming back, talked about how's his assignment going, talked about congou tea that she made for him, and etc.

it was around 0500, we eventually finished the assignment. felt so relaxed and happy. found myself a sofa and tried to get some sleep. sadly only for 30 min. my friend and i were waken up by that fat security guard.

/

/

came back home after submitting my assignment. slept until 4 something in the evening. wanted to play tennis with my friend, but couldnt find a court. sat near the court and watched others play, they're pretty good.

my friend told me that his friend got a job that offers him AUD$150,000 per annum. that's more than AUD$12,000 per month.(3)

i went to play futsal with friends this morning. i didnt know im stil capable of scoring. glad that i scored a few goals. one of my friends invited his friends over to play with us. they're a bunch of muscle building guys.(4)

they took their shirts off. haha, i dont know why, those muscle builders work so hard in the gym, control their diet, and do all sort of things just to make others look bad. whatever, i had fun, i sweated. that's what matters.

on my way back from the futsal game, i saw a Ferrari.(5)

after such a long week, the best way to end it is to go to church and pray a little. i aint sure if im going tmr yet.

/

/

im always those who ask for help(1); who ask 'how to do? can i see your answers?' im never those who are good and smart; who come out with idea.

recently heard a lot about what're my friends gonna do after their studies, some go for post grad studies, some go for management training, some go for financial consultant, some go into big four and etc. some got great jobs(3), i dont see myself as bright as them.

they're good. of course everyone wants to be good. i'l try to be good. i aint sure if im going to be good. if im not, it's always okay. at least im not very bad. it's good to be ordinary and simple. it's good to be not so special sometime.

i dont have to drive a Ferrari(5), i dont have to take my shirt off and show my muscle(4). it's okay for me.

seeing my friend really makes me jealous. i want someone to share my life with too; someone to say good night to. i really miss being in a relationship and get cared(2).

/

oh yea, recently i bought my flight ticket. it costs AUD$600+. cant wait to fly back to my hometown.

/

England were beaten 2-1 by Russia in Moscow. i cant wait for England not to qualify for the Euro 2008 finals.

Alessandro Del Piero, captain of Juve finally signed a new contract with Juve.

Formula One 2007 season is going to end this weekend. Lewis Hamilton, Fernando Alonso or Kimi Räikkönen is gonna win the Formula One World Drivers' Champions?

oh god, i miss you

2007-10-13T22:06:00.000+10:00

remember how you're waken by the sound of the alarm clock early in the morning? (or for me, it's always my dad who wakes me up.)

and quickly take a shower (for me, without brushing teeth, i havent got the habit of brushing teeth that time), put on the school uniform (i hate the pant, sometimes it's so tight, others say i hav big ass) and go to school. (i rmb im always one of the earliest that arrives.)

for some reasons, it's always sweeet to think back even though i can barely rmb anything.

i rmb in primary school, for some classes, students have to sit on the floor. in primary school the uniform is awful. the short. gosh.

i rmb the power primary schoolteachers have, caning and punishing students for not doing homework or whatever. i was always the victim, got caned and punished. i rmb i was punished once, standing at the back of the class with arm spread out. i thought it was easy; better than getting caned. but after 5 min, i realise how tiring it's.

i can hardly rmb how was the canteen like; the kind of food available. but i do rmb there's curry noodle because the drain outside the canteen's always filled with waste of food and orange in color.

in secondary school, it's a lil different.

i rmb how's the timetable like. there's always an assembly at the beginning of a week. the principal and a few others talk crap while students sit on the floor or in a hall.

i rmb they have spotcheck. they check student's hair, nail, uniform, bag and all sort of lil thing and see if it's appropriate. it's funny to recall. some girls have their skirt shortened and thats inappropriate, oh comon'.

i rmb singing 3 or 4 different kind of anthem during the assembly. stupid negarakuuu..

i rmb looking at her from very far as she walks back to her class with her classmates at the end of an assembly. it's been so long, so many things have changed, yet it's only been a few years. i miss you.

remember how we nickname our teachers? Wong Tai Sin.. is all i can rmb.

i rmb my physics teacher, an overly thin chinese guy, my biology teacher, a very short malay lady, my add math teacher and etc.

rmb how we gather together during recess? behind a building and near the field..

i rmb how's the toilet like. do you guy? holy crap. i think you can figure out the rest yourself.

remember how we used to stare at those beautiful girls? dont even know where are they now. after so many years, some became good; some became bad.

i rmb there's always a sports session in the timetable. and it's time for sports. i miss those old times so much. funny thing about sports session is that after the session we have to change back into school uniform. and it's so much fun. we used to change in a very small storeroom in the toilet. one of my friends has big nipple. and it's reali.. big.

i rmb how i prayed; how i asked of god for a girlfriend. and amazingly he did. people says god would give u anything if u ask for it sincerely. he gave me a lesson and i learned. oh thank god.

/

/

i was supposed to study after i got back my mid term result which is below par and the final exam is so near.

i was supposed to finish my assignment which dues next week which i havent got a clue how to do it.

but i was playing a game on my laptop. so i thought mayb i should just write.

just thought of writing out what's been in my mind these few days as i kept thinking of my studies. i'd been through some tough time recalling stuff. so thought of writing them down before 10 years later and i couldn't recall anything.

i would love to post a picture of my former class, but sadly i dont have any with me.

im graduating, man. never thought i have been so much... time never stops..

finally, jus thought of sharing this song that i found.
"pleaseeee wait and jusss stay. i love you."

2007-10-07T14:47:00.000+10:00

new season of all my favourite tv shows, how I met your mother, the office, 30 rock, prison break, boston legal and house md (not interested in heroes or ugly pig or desperate mama) is out.

also demo for two of my favourite games, winning eleven: pro evolution soccer 2008, worldwide soccer manager 2008 (known as football manager 2008) is out.

so, im basically not studying at all.

countdown

2007-09-30T16:12:00.000+10:00

it's the end of september. and it's this far from graduation.

millionaires dog [part ii]

2007-09-27T14:09:00.000+10:00

From previous post..

the documentary gets more ridiculous as it goes on and shows a spa for dogs. it shows a dog with problem moving its backleg after some surgeries and the dog is treated by water treatment, massage treatment, and acupuncture. then, a 'wheel chair' is even provided. oh boy, all of that for a dog? do you know how much it costs?

the place even provides weight loss service for those fat dogs. oh boy. i was really shocked to know the variety of service available for dogs nowadays. weight loss???? oh comon'! just stop feeding abalone, swiftlet's nest/bird's nest soup, and shark's fin soup to your dog.

the documentary gets even more ridiculous when it shows a five-star hotel in new york. oh yea, hotel facilities. hotel facility itself is already considered absurd. it's absurdly five-star. there are VIP (very important pet) suite for dogs with large comfy sofa, tv and stereo. owner of that hotel ensures his customer while he's showing the VIP suite to his customer,
'i'll make sure they'll have a lot of fun. the tv is up there.'

then, the dog owner says,
'show animation, my dog only likes animation.'

the hotel owner even says,
'they[those dogs] probably gonna enjoy better than their owner.'

here are some pictures,

can you believe it??? not even i stay in a five-star hotel. animation?? comon'! ur 'very important' dog knows how to watch animation.

finally, the documentary brings us to a women who calls herself as a communicator. she communicates telepathically with dogs (dead or alive), either at their home or on the phone. do you know how much she charges for her service? $150 for 30 minutes. do you know how much is that? oh boy. i personally think it's a scam.

she didnt say where and how did she get the ability to talk with dogs. i simply dont believe it. how can a human communicates with dogs like that. do you know how? she simply hugs the dog with her eyes closed. and after a few seconds, she comes out with what the dog'd told her. i really dont believe it. the dog doesn't even bark or act in any mean of communicating. she can simply says whatever she wants.

she comes out with a case that she had in the past. she went to talk to dogs which bark after their owner leaves home. she says,
'at first, i thought they were scared to be a home alone. but surprisingly, they said they like to listen to their own barking.'

comon', go to hell. no such thing.

so thats it. the documentary ends there.

dogs are really lovely. i would really love to have one too. i would like to have a:

Siberian Husky, i have actually seen it once in a shopping mall. it was two of them, a couple. unbelievably nice. the kind of security you get leashing one of these is unimaginable. it looks like wolf.

Golden Retriever, i always see them on street. kind of common here in aussie, but stil one hell of a dog.

Rottweiler, i had it once, for a few days, before it was given back to the owner. i remember it was almost my height when it stands up. my mum hates it because it's too big. oh comon' it's its size that makes it special.

St. Bernard, i think i have seen it on street only once. oh boy. super nice. really huge dog, one of the largest dog breeds; even bigger than Rottweiler.

Boxer, looks stupid, but strong. i like it.

Collie, i really really love its sharp head.

Pug, ultra cute. imagine leashing it with one of those big one.

and of course Bobby, my dog. I remember he was not afraid of the Rottweiler and was willing to fight with it for me. sweeet.

i love the strength and bravery of a dog. but it's not easy to take care of a dog. you need to shower them, spend time with them, play with them, train them and many more.

it's like a relationship really. it's nice and sweet to see how obedient and cute are others' dog. many dog owners dont even need to tie their dogs. their dog just magically follow them. and when they go into a shop, their dog can amazingly just sit there and wait for them.

of course, it's not magic or by luck that the dog is smarter than others. they're trained.

it makes me jealous to see so many happy couples. but i know it's not easy to stay in a relationship. need love and commitment.

millionaires dog [part i]

2007-09-26T12:42:00.002+10:00

can you see what it says? it says you must clean up your dog's waste.

government even provides you with plastic,

i was walking out of my place and there was a dog owner with his dog at the corner. the dog owner was waiting for his dog to crap. and as i walk towards the corner, the dog owner picked up the shit and wrapped it up in plastic and continued walking with his dog.

that's the law in australia. you'll be fined if you're found leaving your dog's crap at public. so, interesting, isn't it?

many jurisdictions around the world have enacted statutes which forbid cruelty to some animals. this basically means causing unnecessary suffering or harm to animals may be jailed.

/

/

thats crap. here is something interesting. a documentary i saw on tv weeks ago. it's called millionaires dogs. it shows how dog lovers pamper their dogs to the extreme.

at first, it shows a gym or training center for dog in new york. dog owners bring thier dogs there for exercise. there, special food is supplied for dogs. trainers put dogs onto treadmill for walk. they also bring dogs out for walk. some dogs even have their personal trainer.

not even i go to gym and have my own personal trainer.

the place serves kind of like a daycare. dog owners drop their dogs over there while they're working.

beside daycare and training, the place also provides grooming and bathing.

i think it's okay. daycare, grooming, and bathing is not something new.

the documentary goes on and shows a boutique specially for dogs. inside, there're all sort of clothing for dogs; formal to informal clothing. the camera operator interviews dog lovers/owners occasionally during the documenting. and there's a women who says
'it's new york, it's cold here.'

she bought sweater for her dogs. she also bought carrier for her dogs because she travels quite often and she brings her dog with her everywhere. things in the store ain't cheap, but she's very willing to pay and says,
'they're like my children. there're a lot of unmarried people in new york.'

here is a pictures,

there are pajamas, sweater, jacket, tuxedo, coat, panty, bikini, bed, backpack, and wardrobe. not even i have a tuxedo and pajamas, i simply wear t shirt. the wardrobe is really too much.

well, clothing for dogs aint something new for me. so this is also okay for me.

this post gets too long, so i decided to split it.

continued next post..

journey

2007-09-25T12:41:00.000+10:00

saw them in one of my favourite restaurant. aren't they sweeet?

oh.. love. is like a journey, journey of a couple's life. sharing happiness and sadness; spending time together; getting old together.

i read an article about love weeks ago on a magazine. it says there is no 'the only one'. the person who you believe is meant for you, doesnt really exist. and it advises those who believe there is someone out there for them to stop believing because it's hurtful to realise the truth later.

i personally believe there's someone out for me. i dont know, maybe i shouldnt.

/

/

enjoy this.

Fantasy

2007-09-24T21:43:00.000+10:00

during exam week

on the way up to my friend's place for a study group after dinner, we saw a brand new bmw. it was so cool; all-black, coupe.

'indos kid.'

'lucky bastard.'

'they probably dont have to work for their life because their parents are among those richest families in indonesia.'

do you know how you react to those rich kids. you curse them most of the time, right?

'stupid bai ka chai, aint their money.'

at least thats how i react most of the time.

i know some might refer me as rich kid. just hope you guy dont curse me too badly. but these kids are different. they're so much more richer. even im envious of them.

out of the lift, on the hallway, one of my friends asked, 'between being who you are now and growing up in a reali rich family and not being who you are now, instead having quality of which you always assume those rich kids to have'

'which would you choose?'

it was 3 of us. it was 1-1. i didnt know; i didnt choose.

one rationalises, it was of envy and jealousy that we dislike those rich kids and assume that they're stupid. in fact, they may be nice and bright. 'so, i love the fact that they can enjoy their life at most. by the time, we're financially capable of having that kind of fun, it will never be the same.'

another reasons, he simply loves how he is now, 'i wouldnt be who i am now, if i was grown up in that kind of environment.'

as for me, i think it's reali hard to choose. i just think one should only be proud of the fame and success achived by oneself. if it ain't, there's nothing to be proud of.

so i guess i would choose myself. i really love myself a lot. so, it's 2-1, being who i am wins.

we then talked a lot about fantasy, ideally, how we see ourselves in the future. it was a lot of fun.

/

/

we then talked about our career ahead and mentioned about brother of one of our friends who works for an acconting firm for 6 years and earns rm10,000+ every month. earning that salary 6 years after graduation is pretty impressive. so, thats kinda our target.

then we talked about what are we expecting for our starting salary and how are we gonna do with first pay. well, i said im probably gonna give a big portion to my parent. my friend told me in christianity there's a story about olive,

"I give you all the finest olive oil and all the finest new wine and grain they give the LORD as the firstfruits of their harvest." Numbers 18:12

which basically says we should offer the first of our income to GOD because we are blessed. so, he said he's gonna offer his pay to GOD.

i was like, oh..

i'l think about it. mayb i should too.

would you?

that was basically how the studies went. thats also why my result for that subject is so so so BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!! dammit, cant believe it.

half way

2007-09-20T18:34:00.000+10:00

wrapped up first half of my final semester only a moment ago. keeping my fingers crossed.

it turned up as usual. it always does. initially, got aware of the need or urgency to get revision going. then, faced difficulties in quiting the habit of lazing or relaxing and hardships in hitting the book. then, (usually one or two days before the exam) finally got into the rhythm. and, (usually the night before the exam) got to a point where I do not know what to read next, and, what i read isn't going into my mind. then, (usually minute before the exam) stayed tranquil and blank.

and of course, the most important stage of all, the end, where im mentally exhausted, and the one thing I wanna do is to sleep.

after all, I really wanna thank god as everything went finely for me. he answered to the prayer I made on the Sunday the week my exam started.

/

/

only four blog posts ago, I was talking about the start of my semester and how much i miss home, and now, im already half way to the end. I have been thinking. many things. one that comes more often than others is Sydney. as, im approaching the end of my Bachelor, im thinking what's next. options are:

1.) enroll into a postgraduate programme

2.) find a job.

3.) get a playstation 3, and PLAY!

of course I would wanna choose to play playstation 3, but I feel like I have got to a point in life where I have to start working and earn my own money. but I got a bit of a situation. if im going to do a postgrad, I would have to pick what am i gonna study which at this point in time im uncertain of. I figure if im gonna find out about it, I would have to first get some working experience. then, if im going to start working, there're more to worry of.

So, I'm thinking, maybe this coming few months are probably gonna be my very last time in Sydney. I'm gonna miss this place.

/

/

In response to, Suling's game
"I wanna play!!!"

In response to, Suling's cousin
"wah, can't believe a mama with 2 kid is hotter than you. oh no, just kidding u're hotter."

In respone to, Suling's hell
I rather,

+

+

In response to, Suling's apple day
"not a fan of apple. I think they're rather ugly."

In response to, Siok Hoon's guys are jerk
"haha, he's indeed an asshole."

In response to, Samuel's Spice girl ticket
"oh gosh, Spice Girl world tour, who gives a crap about them. they aren't really girl anymore. oh, you need to watch this. they're coming here, Sydney, I wouldn't go even if im given a free ticket."

In response to, Samuel's Harry Potter
"you remind me of Harry Potter, Daniel Radcliffe, he appeared on one of my uni's magazine weeks ago completely nude, promoting Equus, a play of a story of a psychiatrist who attempts to treat a young man who has a pathological sexual fascination with horses. he is only 18 and is already desperate to reveal his 'little brother' to the world. Interesting."

In response to, Samuel's US open prediction
"ROGER RULES!!!"

In response to, Shiuan's
"not interested in dinosaur. but, im not sure if u know there's dragon movie coming up. watch this."

In response to, Mong Lan's
"simply can't bear to finish most of your blog post."

/

/

I was left shocked just now, when I read about Mourinho leaves Chelsea after crisis meeting . to be honest, I kind of like Chelsea. but my liking towards Chelsea is solely because of Jose, the special one.

"such a lively interesting character. took things to an entirely different level."

he is probably the reason that I am much into EPL recent seasons than I used to. after two near-flawless seasons in charge at Stamford Bridge, he's gone. I hate Chelsea now.

another shocking news is from Formula 1, McLaren is stripped of their 2007 constructors' points and the team is fined $100 million for unauthorised possession of confidential Ferrari information. Interesting.

this coming weekend Juve takes on Roma.

Untitled

2007-09-16T17:49:00.000+10:00

been some time since my last post. wanted to blog re merdeka on the 1st, then stopped empty-mindfully.

been caught in the traffic since.

taking a split second off to observe my surrounding, ensure if im proceeding satisfactorily, rationally.

numerous occasions worth retrospecting, marking; every micro-, subtle thing.

a sigh of relief is ever haunted by a river of vexations.

ever the reciprocation that over-the-top.

expose regularly to thing that irritates my eye, ear, tongue, and nose.

when light turns to darkness; it's just another day.

US Open, a fashion show

2007-08-31T00:56:00.000+10:00

Federer was the Man in Black and he said,
"For women, sometimes it looks more like a dress to go into the city than go on the tennis court."

"It still looks like tennis attire. It was a cool mix with kind of the tuxedo kind of looks, all black."

He made a statement with the black,
"I kind of like to do sophisticated statements, like at Wimbledon with the jacket."

Six different US Open Series promo,

Sharapova's and Serena's

Federer's

Nadal's

Roddick's and Blake's

And its bloopers,

SWEENEY TODD

2007-08-28T22:15:00.000+10:00

It's a musical. And I doubt it. However, the story is great, I've read it. And it's Johnny's, so it's a must-watch.

'They're gone.'

2007-08-25T00:27:00.000+10:00

'They're gone.'

That was what he said to me.

-

-

This afternoon, I was going for some chinese. But all of a sudden I was hungering for French Fries. So, I decided to go after this fast food restaurant.

Something about this fast food restaurant, it's called Chicken Wizard. And there was this old lady working there. She recognises me, because I used to go there all the time. And she asks about me everytime I'm there.

But, not long ago, I decided not to have so much fast food. So, I haven't been there for some time. And for some reason, everytime I'm walking past the restaurant, I walk quickly past it to avoid being seen by her.

And I was there this afternoon, a bunch of new people working there. So I was curious and asked,
'Where are they? Those who used to work here.'

The French Fries didn't taste as delicious as before. Thinking about it, I felt like I should have said good bye to her. Good for her anyway, I think it was her retirement.

-

-

I was at a career fair last week. But, before I was there, I was at a shop photocopying my resume. The old chinese guy read my resume and said,
'Can I give you some personal advices.'

I was like,
'Alright.'

He said,
'All these are useless and meaningless, no one's gonna read this.. and this.. and this..'

I was like so embarrassing, you know. So I replied awkwardly,
'uhmm.. oh.. hem..'

I have to say it's true. I accepted what he said. My resume is a shame really. Nothing at all. And it got worst after I read and compared with my friend's. I felt so..

Inferior.

Banana cake

2007-08-12T23:00:00.000+10:00

Why was I in her class? She was an idiot. She explained that her cat was Pussy and has four legs. Of course a cat has four legs. I knew a cat has four legs. What I didn't know was why was I in her class. She looks very much like this,

Ha ha, I mean it. I'm not making it up. She really looks like that. She's a chinese and she's quite old. The worst thing about her is really the way she teaches, she treats students like kindergarten. And I'm not one.

-

-

Oh, my god. Now my whole body is aching, my ankle, my knee, my ass.. because I played a football game yesterday with a bunch of guys.(1) I should have kept my excuse of not having a proper shoe and not played.

-

-

10 days ago, it was my dad's birthday. And back then I was too sick and busy to give him a call. 11 days later is my twin sister's birthday. And I think I should give them a call and talk a little.

Having spent my last one month holiday in Sydney rather than in my hometown and knowing that I have to spend another half year here before I can go back to my lovely hometown where I can go everywhere stress-freely, I'm kinda homesick right now. Experiencing severe homesickness, I have been visualising my hometown lately when I'm laying on my bed. I miss the food there so much, I imagine there's a new place in town where all the good food are gather there, there are delicious bak kut teh, awesome curry noodle, and everything. And because of this, I get very hungry every morning.(2)

Spring semester had just started and I got sick right after the first week.(3)

I was on a bus the other day some time in the afternoon. And there were only two other passengers on it. The environment was different, you know, usually it was busy on a bus. Sometimes bus doesn't even stop because it's full especially in the morning. And when it's so empty, I felt like I own it, you know, I can sit wherever I want. After a few stops, the other two passengers went off and it was only me on the bus. So, at that moment, I ponder the busyness on a bus does varies throughout a day. My life too. For the past one month, I was like on an empty bus. And now, Spring semester had started, more and more people are getting onto the bus and it's gettin busy. But I'm not sure if it's a good thing, because sometimes I feel like being alone and getting some space for myself. Also, I hate sitting beside a weirdo.

Well, after the first two week of this new semester, I had sold five textbooks for AUD$330. Somes are sold higher than its orginal cost. It was good to have some extra income.(4) But on the other hand, I had just paid my fee. It was more than AUD$9000. It kept me wondering, if I have to pick a business to run beside a church, it would probably be an University. Imagine, it's tax exempted. And it's something everyone is going for, you know, it's something parent of any children are most willingly to pay for. I'm not sure why, but it's just the way it is.

If I have to choose the most valueable asset/investment around, I would say a children's brain like the one in my skull. An investment every parent are "obligated" to make; giving pocket money, paying for tuition fee. And what are they hoping for in return? Hoping for their kid to get educated and become a good prospect in the future.

Take mine as an example, three semesters in Sydney, AUD$9,000+ each plus complementary living cost around AUS$1,000 each months. Before that were five semesters in Subang, RM9,000+ each plus complementary living cost around RM1,000 each months. So its value sum up to an amount of just below RM200,000 in a short period of four years. Not to mention secondary and primary time and money spent on textbooks and some other expenses. Additionally, its value will go up gradually over time. So, the little thing inside my skull really does worth a fortune.

AUD$9000 each semester from each student. I really don't know what they do with the income. For me, I would use them to hire better lecturer. Because what I have in University are really awful, they hire some weird, stupid, dodgy lecturers.

Like I said earlier I'm currently enrolled into a class, which is conducted by an idiot. Just giving you an example of how idiotically scary she is, there's a friend of mine, who was in her class previously, withdrew the subject immediately after attending her class in the first week.

In another subject, there's this army-dressed female lecturer who seems like she had just graduated from Russia army academy. Here is roughly how she looks like,

Amazing. I haven't got anything for her class, you know, no textbook, not even lecture notes. It was the second week, she'd already started giving quiz. So stupid.

In another subject, there is this feminine indian lecturer with heavy indian accent and bad temper. For me, his lecture is like he's singing or chanting some indian scriptures. Here is a sketch of how he looks like,

Ha ha, he really does look like that, trust me.

Like I said earlier, I haven't got anything yet for this semester. I didn't know why. I'm just feeling different this semester. The fact that it's my last semester, the fact that I'm on the edge of completing my bachelor, I'm thinking more than what I should be. I'm feeling really dull towards studies, you know, don't feel like studying already, feel like quiting. At the same time, I'm worried about what after that. I asked myself what do I think about this semester? Well, I think I have not got enough. I think it's still shallow. What I have known now is still little. And maybe I should go for more.

-

-

I spoke to a friend of mine the other day about this Spring semester. She is having five subjects and she is expecting to graduate after this semester. I have to say her last semester is much tougher than mine. However I think she's gonna do okay.(5)

-

-

Like the Spring semester, football season had started too.(6)

-

-

As I took a bite of Banana cake, I finally felt as if everything was going to be okay. Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank god for Banana cake, and fortunately when there aren't any Banana cake, we can stil find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin, or a kind and loving gesture, or a subtle encouragement, or a loving embrace, or an offer of comfort. Not to mention a fun football game with friends(1) and a delightful breakfast(2) and simply getting recovered(3) and some extra income(4) and a good conversation with friends(5) and watching a football match(6) and video gaming with friends and soft-spoken secrets, and maybe the occasional piece of news. And we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties which we assume only accessorise our days are in fact here for a much larger and nobler cause: they are here to save our life. I know the idea seems strange, but I also know that it just so happen to be true.

See this,

I just wish you guy can understand and know that I do care, it's just sometimes all the conversation never happen, all the word I wanted to say weren't understand.

Feeling good

2007-07-31T19:30:00.000+10:00

It was some time around 7 p.m., 26th of July, and a thursday. I was sitting on the floor outside my lecturers' office with a few others, head down, waiting moodily for my name to be called. Heidi, my lecturer, she walked slowly towards a door with a few papers on her hand, opened up the password-protected door and finally called my name, Hoong Earn.

Continued below..

Seven days earlier..

My result was released. And like I said in my previous blog, there was a particular subject which I did terribly. And that night I was laying on my bed, trying to sleep, wondering why was it so bad. So, early morning the next day, I sent my lecturer an email re my result and I told her that I would want to lodge a review of my final subject assessment because I was thinking maybe there was a mistake. And she informed me about a post exam consultation and asked me to come.

Four hours earlier...

I arrived at my Uni and walked myself to my lecturers' office. A lot of students were already there. The corridor was packed with students. There was little room for movement. And there was a form with a number on it to fill in. My number was 37. And I was gonna have to wait untill my name is called.

One of my classmate came and talked to me,
'I didn't expect to see you here, I don't believe you will fail too.'

I smiled awkwardly and replied,
'No, I didn't fail, I just come to see my paper.'

We stood at a corner and talked a little. He, another guy and I were talking about.. Fail. He said he got 47, the other guy said he got 41, they talked about their friend who got 45 and bla bla bla. I literally didn't know what to say. They asked,
'Why are you even here, you'd passed. You don't have to be here.'

I replied,
'Nah, just checking, you know.'

One of them came out with something re his friend. He said,
'I got a friend, he'd passed with 51, and he ain't satisfied, so he went for a consultation, and the lecturer found a mistake and failed him.'

And then, he gave me an advice,
'Just go home.'

I was like,
'Nah, I'm staying.'

One of my friend who arrives here early, got out from his consultation and said the lecturer didn't pass him. He asked the same question,
'Why are you here, you'd passed. Lecturers won't look at your paper, just go home.'

I was like,
'Uhm, I think I'm staying.'

I waited outside the office for hours. Heidi came out and called names, so many times, but not mine. Students went in and out, some came out happily, some didn't. The busy, crowded, packed corridor slowly turned into a lonely and quiet one. Two of my classmate have already went in, left just me. Even those who come after me have already went in. I started to get frustrated. I was thinking,
'Maybe my friend was right, lecturer won't look at my paper.'

From above..

After my name was called, Heidi walked me into a lounge. She gave me back my paper and a sheet of answer. Then she went away to attend to some other students who were still at the lounge. David, the subject ordinator was also there. While they were busy, I checked my paper with the answer.

I found the assessment is really strict. Those questions that I expect full mark weren't given full mark. In fact, I didn't get any full mark from that paper. For every little part, here and there, marks are taken away. For eg, out of 6 I got only 4; out of 4 i got only 2. And that's why. I figured that's why my result is so bad. I checked and recalculated my paper, and there wasn't a mistake.

There was this girl sitting beside me. Heidi spoke to her. She failed. She got only around 30. Heidi told her,
'Even if I give you another 10 mark, you're still gonna fail.'

I think it was mean. It silenced her for awhile. They were talking just beside me, I heard the whole conversation. I could feel how sad she was, the fact that it was her second time failing the subject makes it worst. However, Heidi was amazing. She comforted the girl. She offered the girl to join her class next semester and promised to look at the girl's homework every week to make sure the girl passes the subject.

Listening to their conversation, at a point, I felt like I wasn't supposed to be there, you know, they talked about failing. And what am I gonna to say?

David came and talked to me. I have always conceived him as a very nice lecturer. He is hilarious. He explains well.

He started reading my answers and asked me what about it. I said,
'Well, I just don't understand, for every little part here and there, marks are taken away, and they all sum up and become a lot.'

He had a look at my overall result and said,
'You did well, mate.'

I smiled a little bit and said,
'I was expecting better, you know, not a Distinction, but maybe a Credit, Sir.'

Then he was like,
'You used to be a very good student?'

I didn't know how to reply that. Then he started reading my answers and explained,
'Well, Earn, you understand the question, and are able to answer it, you will get a Pass. When you are able to explain and apply a little bit more, you will get a Credit. And when you are able to give an answer which is different and extraordinary. You're different from others, you will get a Distinction. And you will get a High Distinction if you're able to answer like me.'

'I don't think these answers worth full mark.'

When he said that, I wasn't able to argue about it. The fact that the subject is a purely theoretical one, I simply can't say,
'No, I think my answers are perfect and they worth full mark.'

So, we literally went through the whole paper, and he thought I deserve a little bit here and there and gave me a Credit.

So that was it, he wished me,
'Good luck with all the other subject and whatever is it that you're doing.'

What a absolutely lovely guy. He is so generous and genuine. What you see is really what u get, he's not like, I passed the subject and he stomped away from me, he stuck around and had a good chat. He is just such a pleasant guy to be around. It was such a rough and long day for him, and he however walked around with a smile and a comforting word for everyone.

I walked home, felt good at myself, you know, satisfied, confident and happy with my result.

I knew

2007-07-24T19:50:00.000+10:00

Dedicating this to my bro,

Ice cubes haven't even molten, you were glancing at your watch already. I smiled in embarrassment.
You said 'been busy lately, talk next time, alright?'

The other day, I was thinking downstairs for awhile, thinking of what you had told me.
You said Love is narrow; the world is spacious. And it is time for us to grow up.

That's it. That's enough.
I think I understand what's underlying your word.

I knew that Love won't necessarily last forever.
I knew you might just walk away like this one day.
I knew it, I knew all of these.
I just couldn't take it.

I knew we had truly had laughters and cryings together.
I knew how to let go of your hand, but I don't know how to forget about it.
I knew how's every second gonna be after you're gone.
Still, it's so hard to bear.

Smiling, clinching my teeth tightly, wishing you, 'you fly freely.'
You said colorful flower ain't gonna be found in a room. You're always right.

Alright, alright.
I agreed, but my tears are pouring down like rain.

I knew that Love won't necessarily last forever.
I knew you might just walk away like this one day.
I knew it, I knew all of these.
I just couldn't take it.

I knew we had truly had laughters and cryings together.
I knew how to let go of your hand, but I don't know how to forget about it.
I knew how's every second gonna be after you're gone.
Still, it's so hard to bear.

Still it's so difficult to bear.

I knew we had truly had laughters and cryings together.
I knew how to let go of your hand, but I don't know how to forget about it.
I knew how's every second gonna be after you're gone.
Still, it's so hard to bear.

Still it's so difficult to bear.

Still it's so tough to bear.

Come sit next to me

2007-07-23T02:04:00.000+10:00

I went out for dinner. On my way back, there was an art studio, and there was a white color cardboard with a quote on it,

"If you haven't got anything nice to say about anyone, come sit next to me"

I think it's nice.

sigh

2007-07-18T00:57:00.000+10:00

sigh.

today, it's the 18th.

my result, such a let down. how could it be that bad.

i wasn't expexting that bad. i thought i did fine. i thought i did ok.

sigh, u know, i was excited and nervous finally the result is available. so, i asked my friend to check it for me. sigh. makes no difference. always a disappointment.

now, jus wanna forget about it, u know, got onto my bed, couldn't really get my mind off it. out of four, three of them are really bad, and out of the three, two of them are stil acceptable, the.. that one...

how could it be that bad.. i jus dont understand.

i think i realli need a sleep.

arggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's winter.

2007-07-14T22:30:00.000+10:00

It's winter. Gosh, I hate it. Why? Plenty reasons why.

Many from Malaysia always dream to stay abroad. They always say,

"How nice if it's snowing."

"How I wish it's winter."

But little did they know suffering in cold is actually worst than hot.

Usually before I go to bed, I turn my heater off. And in the morning, when I get out of my bed, it's so cold, I quiver. Sometimes, while I'm quivering, I can feel a little pain in my back. I simply hate it.

I'd just got myself a lip conditioner. Sounds sissy uh. Not something you're expecting me to own uh. But you know why? Not to take extra care of my lip. It's because of the weather. It is so cold and dry, my lip is cracked and chapped. So uncomfortable, I felt like it's gonna bleed. Now, it gets better.

I hate waking up during the winter. What I usually do in the morning is splashing my face with water. During the winter, the water is so icy cold(actually there's warm water, just that I hate to wait), every time I splash my face with that water I feel like my face is frozen.

Every time I wash my hands, I feel like my hands are frozen too.

Every time I go out, I have to wear an extra shirt and jacket. And I just don't like the tedious act. Outside, the wind is always so strong. It hits onto my face so strong constantly, I feel like my face is frozen.

I remember it was raining one day, and I was rushing to uni to hand in my assignment. So, I brought my umbrella along. The wind was so strong, it destroyed my umbrella.

During winter, everything is expensive. In my routine to the market, usually I only spend around AUD$5 for vege. During winter, what costs only AUD$1 becomes AUDS$1.50; what costs only AUD$1.25 becomes AUD$2. I remember asking the saler, why is this so expensive, you know what she said.

"What? It's winter ok? It's hard to get vege these times a year? So, do you want it or not? This isn't what money can buy, when it's sold out, no more for anyone, until then you have only money and coins left to eat."

Haha, I quickly grabbed a few of them. Beside, fishes also got expensive.

During winter, the day gets dark very early. Sometimes, it gets dark as early as 4pm. Nothing really bad about this. But, you know what, it's holiday for me, and I don't wake up before noon, so, the day is only like 4 hours to me.

During the winter, it's cold outside, which means no outdoor sports for me. Thats very bad for me.

When I was a kid, I have no idea when people say,

"Home gives a warm feeling."

I'm feeling warm and sweating all the time, you know, in Malaysia.

But now, I do. It's been raining for a few days now; been very cold. You know, my room is not a very big one. A door, a window, a table, a heater, not even a bed, jus a mattress and thats about it. This is my home. And the most lovely thing in my room is my heater.

I remember one night, I had a night exam. And after exam, it was like 9pm. It was raining and the wind was strong. I took a bus and went home. Got back, turned my heater on, the room heated up. I felt the kind of warm feeling a home gives. It was more, the mental pressure went away after the exam. Listening to the rain drops, the wind breezes, I know how terrible or cold the condition outside is, and covering with warm blanket, I smile and felt at home.

Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there's really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.

Maybe winter is not that bad, there are little things that I enjoy.

/

/

I just got a hair cut last week. My hair was really long. And I don't like to keep it that long, you know, it's annoying, it pokes my eyes and nose all the time.

I dont't know why, for some reason, I love getting a hair cut. Maybe it's the beautiful lady who cuts my hair. Maybe it's the way she massages my head. Maybe it's the way she listen to everything I say. No no, not really. I just like to sit there, and see, piece and piece of my hair goes down. I feel renewed.

/

/

Yesterday as usual, I got online at night for awhile to, you know, get in touch with some of my friends, one of my friend from uni told me the result is out. I was so shocked, I thought it will only be available on the 18th. So, I quickly browsed into my uni's website to find out my result in excitement. I was so nervous, especially when it was only one click away. I went in. And it wasn't there. So I quickly asked my friend,

"Hey, it isn't there."

Then she said, it was a mistake. "Gosh, I can't wait for my result to come out. Hope I don't fail any."

/

/

I had a friends who loses his cousin last week. I asked, why??? What happened? AIDS, it's not what I'm expecting, but yes, AIDS kills him. It has been for awhile since we first heard about AIDS. But still it's a threat to life. An advice for all my friend out there, "Don't forget to practice only safe and healthy sex."

/

/

Monday is the Copa América Venezuela 2007 final, Brazil versus Argentina. Whose side are you on? I'm supporting Argentina.

/

/

Gosh, I'd just got a surprising news from my friend. He is going through some tough time now. But things happen, sometimes you just don't know why. I'm surprised to see that you're handling it so well. But don't push yourself too hard. You're be fine.

Roger Federer has done it.

2007-07-10T01:05:00.000+10:00

Roger Federer has done it again. He narrowly, emotionally defeated Rafael Nadal to win his fifth consecutive Wimbledon Championships equalling the great Swede Bjorn Borgs record.

He was under a lot of pressure throughout the match especially in the final, fifth, and decisive set. Rafa pushed him to the limit.

Rafa has always been a very tough opponent. His determination, his attitude, he never surrenders. He is very strong, physically. You know, he plays so well on the base line. And he's a lefty.

"Well, I mean, it's good to have hit at least half an hour with a lefty before the finals because I've played against six right handers."

"So, of course, it's hard to come into a match and you play a lefty. Especially on the returns, I always feel it. The entire points are played in a different manner. Where usually you go backhand cross‑court, with Rafa I have to go backhand long line."

Gosh, the match was a thriller. On the match point, Roger hammered home an overhead smash, collapsed and cried.

"Well, I was almost crying already(in fact, he cried). When I was up 5‑2(in the final set), I had to kind of just stay pretty relaxed. And then, you know, the game starts with Love‑15. I'm like, Oh, my God, this is going too well. I'm just trying to stay focused."

"But it's hard, you know. So many things go through your mind. On match point, I said, play aggressive on the second serve. It paid off, so I was thrilled."

"I saw Bjorn up in the stands. Maybe it made me a bit more proud of myself. But it was more just, you know, the mental pressure that went away the moment I won match point. To celebrate it with my closest friends, my girlfriend, it was very special and important to me."

In the fifth set, it was 1‑All, 15‑40, 2‑All, 15‑40, Rafa was so close, having four break points. I was so so worried. However, Roger managed to hold on. He served tremendously well on big point.

"Yeah, I was a little bit scared. Of course, you know (smiling). I was like, Oh, my God, it's slipping away(laughter). No. It was a tough moment to be in. I was nervous. I was thinking I'm probably maybe going to get out of the first one. When the second one comes around, you're like, Oh, my God, let's do it all over again."

"Winning in five set obviously is going to get emotions out of you because you're drained towards the end, you know, mentally and physically. You fought your heart out, you know, the whole way. So in the end you want to come through as the winner because otherwise it's so disappointing because you came so close, you know. So the record was on the line and everything just adds up and even puts more pressure on you. I was very happy to come through as the stronger."

Later Bjorn Borgs said,

"Federer is a complete tennis player. He is an artist on the court and to beat him at Wimbledon in the best of five sets is almost an impossible task. For the last five years, to see him play is like kind of an artist. He can play on any kind of surface. He can stay back and come in. No weaknesses.”

"I think and hope that Roger will equal my record this year - it could not happen to a better person."

In conclusion, Roger is really special. I have never seen Roger being tested like this before. This is his first ever five-setter in a Grand Slam Final. I started to get worried as the match goes longer. Because when it comes to a long, physical match, Rafa has the upper hand. I think this match really took a lot of out him, emotionally and physically. By watching the match, I was thrilled. To come out with something that extraordinary under such intense pressure is really really special.

A must-watch Nike Commercial,

Happy 20th Birthday

2007-06-28T21:50:00.000+10:00

Tomorrow is my friend's birthday. She's going 20. At an mere age of 20, she's going through all sort of experiences which an ordinary person would probably gets during his/her late-20. Getting into relationship is ordinary; getting married isn't. People start having need for affection and love as young as a primary school kid. Relationship comes and goes as need satisfied or experience received.

On contrary, she got married. Marriage is special. Decision to get married doesn't come easily. It's a decison that affects one's life. It's a decision made together with the one. She made the decision. She must have been through a lot. Those experiences that I have not got, experiences that I ain't ready to undergo. Not mentioning, she is pregnant too. I couldn't imagine how much she had been through/is going through. At an mere age of 20, younger than myself, she is having a life inside herself. I couldn't imagine my girlfriend(even though I dont have one) tells me, 'I'm pregnant, Earn.' I'm 21 year old, yet I'm not ready for that. She'd been through that. I'm not sure how far along is she but soon she's gonna give birth to a baby. Giving birth, another rare and scary experience. Happy 20th Birthday.

I reckon there's a pattern to life. And it changes from stage to stage. And there're different kind of experiences in each stage. I'm in a stage of 'studies'. It started since I started schooling in kindergarten. My life has always been the same since then. Studies follows by holidays. Since year 2003, since I started my Bachelor of Business, it has always been a four-months semester follows by a one or three months holiday. It has been almost 16 years, which weights more than three-quarter of my life time.

And now, I'm approaching the end of the '16 years of studies' stage of my life. Had been through so many experiences, good and bad. Soon, it's gonna be the beginning of a new stage. Start of new chapter. New environment, new experience. I have no clue how my life's gonna be yet. I have no idea what I'm gonna be or do. Am I gonna extend another year here. I ain't sure if I'm ready for what's coming. What I can assume for the time being is that it's gonna be a really, really long stage. Probably the longest one and the most important one. I'm worried if it's gonna be good or bad for me.

I love a movie named Stranger Than Fiction (2006), directed by Marc Forster. In that movie, there is a scene in which Harold and Ana were talking about cookies. I find the conversation meaningful.

Memorable quotes:

Harold Crick:
So when did you decide to become a baker?

Ana Pascal:
In college.

Harold Crick:
Oh, like a cooking college?

Ana Pascal:
I went to Harvard Law actually. But I didn't finish. I was barely accepted. I mean, really barely. The only reason they let me come was because of my essay. How I was gonna make the world a better place with my degree. Anyway, we would have to participate in these study sessions. My classmates and I, sometimes all night long. And so I'd bake so no one would go hungry while we worked. Sometimes I would bake all afternoon in the kitchen in the dorm and then I'd bring my little treats to the study groups and people loved them. I made oatmeal cookies, peanut-butter bars, dark-chocolate macadamia-nut wedges. And everyone would eat and stay happy and study harder and do better on the tests. More and more people started coming to the study groups and I'd bring more snacks. I was always looking for better and better recipes untill soon it was ricotta cheese and apricot croissants and mocha bars with an almond glaze and lemon chiffon cake with zesty peach icing. And at the end of the semester I had 27 study partners, 8 Mead journals filled with recipes and a D average. So I dropped out. I figured if I was gonna make the world a better place I would do it with cookies.

Ana Pascal found her way of making the world a better place. I.. How am I gonna make the world a better place? Is what i'm gonna do in the future gonna make the world a better place? I dont know.

There is another quote in The Lake House (2006):

Kate Forster:
He(her dad) was sick and he dies. These dreams of me of becoming a doctor, you know, eventually it became true too. You know, I feel good helping people.

Is what I'm gonna do in the future what I'm happy of doing? I dont know too.

Panadol saved my life

2007-06-23T18:24:00.000+10:00

Getting sick doesn't come at a worst time than this. It was the final examination month. I got sick on the 6th. It was a really really terrible day for me. I spent almost the whole day on my bed. The night before, I got a really serious fever. The 6 tablets(3 times, 2 tablets each times) of Panadol that I consumed have saved my life. This is really the worst getting sick can gets. Getting sick, having absolutely no one around to care about you. Getting sick, being so far away from home. Getting sick really never gets worst than this. At that very very worst moment, I really felt like I was dying. And then I prayed:

"God, I dont wanna die. God, I dont wanna feel this bad. Please heal me."

On 7th, I was just recovered, I had to get my assignment done. The worst thing is that my head was aching the whole day. Not sure why, probably because the fever was too hot, it burned/hurt my brain. The next day, 8th, beside having an assignment due, I had a class. In school, my head was aching all the time like the day before. Gee, I'd never felt sicker than this.

After having headache for two consecutive days, I finally felt better, at least I managed to read. I was so so happy to be well. After feeling sick for three days, getting well felt like reborn. Thank God really. Having headache for two days really worries me. Because I couldn't read. And it was final exam month. Luckily I got well early enough for me to have some time to get prepared for final exam papers.

Even though, I'm well again, I'm disturbed of myself. I don't know what actually happened to me, you know. Getting fever is cool with me, but getting blackout is not cool. It worries me. However, fainting like this isn't the first time for me. I'd got the same experience few years ago. I had a check-up, doc said it isn't a big problem.

I'm a big fan of Scrubs. In Scrubs, there's a episode called My Perspective in which JD had the same issue as me. It's called vasovagal syncope, a condition which results in fainting or blackouts.

From Wikipedia:

When they pass out, they fall down; and when in this position, effective blood flow to the brain is immediately restored, allowing the person to wake up.

From Wikipedia:

Typical triggers for vasovagal syncope include:

prolonged standing or upright sitting,
stress,
any painful or unpleasant stimuli,
prolonged exposure to heat,
sudden onset of extreme emotions,
hunger,
consumption of marijuana,
consumption of alcohol,
nausea or vomiting,
urination ('micturition syncope') or defecation,
swallowing ('deglutition syncope'),
sexual arousal,
abdominal straining or 'bearing down' (as in defecation)

Out of those listed, I think it were urination, hunger and a little stress from exam that trigger the blackout that I had. Since I arrived here in Australia, I have been suffering starvation almost everyday, you know, food here is so expensive, I ain't willing to spend so much on eating. But, now I wouldn't save that kind of money. I'll eat, eat and eat.

DOUBLE STOREY SEMI-D HOUSE FOR SALE!

2007-06-20T12:55:00.000+10:00

*reposting my sis's post

Detail about the house:

1. No 1, Lorong Galing 125, Jalan Air Putih, 25300 Kuantan, Pahang

2. Approx 5,000 sq ft

3. 1st floor: 1 master bedroom with attached bathroom, 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom and small living room

4. large balcony with nice scenery-> esp. sunset (good reading area and family/friends gathering)

5. Ground floor: 2 study room, 1 bathroom, big living room & kitchen

6. nice garden compound

7. huge compound that can fit in about 5 cars

8. strategic location with post office, schools, kinder garden, nursery, tuition centre, supermarket, petrol station, bank, ect.

9. RM 480,000.00 selling price

If you're interested, please call Mrs How at 09-5446118/ 5446188. Thank you

Here are some pictures of the house.

Rephrasing:

1. It's in Air Putih, Grab it or regret it. In Kuantan, there isn't any other better place to stay than Air Putih.

2. A really really really very big house.

3. Really really big master bedroom on the first floor with bathroom and access to the balcony. It's so big, you can even play tennis or football against the wall in the room (that's what i did).

4. Oh yes, the balcony, Trust me, it's really huge! You can park like 5 kancil on the balcony. Also, fantastic view of the sunset.

5. What can I say, it's BIG! The living room is really HUGE. The kitchen is HUGE as well (where I used to play tennis against the wall).

6. It's so big, My father and I used to practice golf swing there. It's so big, you can have your own jungle.

7. Again, it's BIG. To be honest, you can actually park 6 cars. The compound is so huge, you can really literally do anything with it. A huge party, not a problem.

8. As I said, it's Air Putih, you can have anything within walking distance. Bank, restaurant, post office, school, all kind of shops, etc. Old town is just 5 min walk away, you don't even have to drive to reach one of the best 'chilling' place in Kuantan.

9. And it's really very CHEAP for such a big house in Air Putih.

In conclusion, this house is all about SIZE.

I'm out of my mind

2007-06-18T17:49:00.000+10:00

When I'm stressed, I do this:

Everyone has a limit in term of patience, she couldn't cope with it.

She ain't the only victim of my unexplainable act.
Ain't sure why I did that though, probably, EXAM.

June 02

2007-06-03T12:02:00.000+10:00

Because the fact that I'm a sports-maniac, the past few weeks should be the best time of the year for me. Most sports reach their peak stages of the season. That's why I should have a lot to enjoy.

But the best time for me is accompanied with one of the two worst time of the year. My semester is approaching its end. So many assignments to finish, examination to study.

So, I ain't sure whether I'm enjoying or suffering.

Football season ends. I was truly delighted to see AC milan being crowned as the European champion once again. By knocking out Man Utd and Liverpool, AC milan rebuked the idea of 'English Premier league is the best' and proved that Italian football is still the best following its triumph in the last World Cup.

What left for football now are the Spanish Primera Liga and transfer news. In Spain, Real Madrid and Barcelona are battling hard for the title. I fancy about many anticipating moves during this summer break for newly-promoted Juventus.

As for NBA, I was deeply sad to witness my favourite NBA team, Phoenix Sun being knocked out controversially in the NBA playoff.

Since my favourite team's departure from the playoff, I was dull towards NBA untill yesterday. Lebron James pulled out with one of the best performance in NBA history to claim a victory against the Detroit Piston. Since my team is not in the competition, I'm now supporting Cleveland Cavalier and Lebron James temporarily, hoping they can beat the San Antonio Spurs in the Final.

In tennis, it's the end of the clay season, and it's the Roland Garros. Roger Federer is looking for his first Roland Garros title. Rafa Nadal a.k.a the Clay King, the champion here for the past two years is obviously Roger's primary worry. Just before Roland Garros, it was Hamburg Master Series, and Rafa was on a tremendous 81 winning streak. Interestingly, just when it seemed like he's unbeatable on clay, Roger snapped his 81 winning streak on clay and claimed the Hamburg title. That was Roger's first ever win against Rafa on clay. Even though, I'm not a Rafa's fan, but I respectfully think he deserves a lot of credit out of his unbelievable, record-breaking 81 winning streak on clay. And now, more importantly, Roger is through to the Fourth Round of the Roland Garros. And I really hope he can win this major this year.

As for uni, I have finished all my assignments and results are also out. But still just around the corner, it's the final examination. I feel like I'm a sportsman who reaches the final of a competition. And now it's time to deliver. To win is to score good result. As I said, I'm a sports-maniac. Sports is my entertainment when my life is so numb with studies. Gladly, I could still relate them to my interest.

-

-

I have got a lot of surprises this semester. One of them is my Auditing assignment result. I didnt expect anything more than 26(out of 35) you know. Given the condition, you know, I was paired up with another two, and then during the process of writing the essay there was some arguments and then I was feeling very upset. And the assignment itself is tough, questions are very abstract, you know, it requires a lot of researches and readings. But it came out surprisingly as 33. I was shock really. Of course I'm really happy with my result, you know, the subject is known for its difficulty, it's really good to have done so well (44.25 out of 50) before the final examination.

That's a good surprise. I'd got some bad ones too. Again it's related to my Auditing subject. For the subject, I didnt buy the recommended textbook, so I'd been borrowing the textbook from the library. And one day, the library sent me an email and gave a notice that they'd imposed a AUD$100+ fine on me for missing CD.

I was so shock. Honestly I didnt know there's a CD attached to the textbook. I have never touched the CD at the back of the textbook. And they were imposing a AUD$100+ fine on me. I was really frustrated, you know, I went to the loan desk and spoke to the senior management there about the fine, and then nothing can be done, you know, they didnt believe what I said. So, I tried to find if there's anyone who is willing to sell me a CD. Luckily I found one who is willing to sell it to me for $AUD25. At least I managed to save $AUD75+. Still, it was really frustrating for me, you know, having bad luck and also having to solve the issue with the library.

-

-

Oh yea, before I finish. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End is out and it's brilliant. Johnny is as usual fabulous, the story is phenomenal and humorous, the action/fighting is terrific, also the computer effect is unbelievable. Such a fantastic ending for what is known as one of the best trilogy in the history of Hollywood. It's a masterpiece.

It shows that the purpose of 'the flying dutchman' is to ferry dead souls from the sea into the netherworld. And the reason that the entire crew of 'the flying dutchman' look like monster is that Davy Jones gave up his duties to ferrying souls.

Also, interestingly, Jones's lover was Calypso, and because he couldn't find Calypso during the one day on land that he got from his curse. He felt betrayed and teached pirates how to bind Calypso into human form. This makes sense in the end when Calypso resurrected Barbossa from his death, also helped releasing Jack from Davy Jones' Locker. Because they both are Pirate Lords and have their respective Pieces of Eight the talismans necessary to free Calypso.

I like the ending part where Jack sails for his destination, Fountain of Youth, the path to immortality and freedom to sail the seas for eternity. During the battle, he had the chance to be immortal by stabbing Jones's heart and replacing him as the flying dutchman captain. But he gave the chance up to save Will.

One bad thing about the movie is it's not the original one. That's really the one bad thing I can think of the movie. So many scene are cut out of the one showing in the cinema just to make the movie shorter. Honestly, I dont mind sitting another thirty minute in the cinema for such a spectacular movie.

First it didnt show how Elizabeth's father dies. He was tricked into stabbing Jones's heart but only later learned by not replacing his own heart into the chest he would die. Also, it didnt show how the legendary leviathan, the Kraken dies. Beckett orders Jones to kill it because he afraid Jones might use it against him.

Also, the ending is taken out of the movie. Originally, since Will is the new captain of the flying dutchman, he is cursed to spend ten years at sea, but allowed one final day on land to be with his love. After 10 years, Elizabeth and her nine-year-old son eagerly await Will's return and then Elizabeth's faithfulness to Will removes Will from Calypso's curse.

-

-

I had just bought a new mobile phone and it's Nokia 8800. I like to call it double 8, double 0 or double 0, 8. Here are some comparison between my Dopod 900 and my 008.

Comparison from the front

Comparison when it's opened

Comparison from the back

Why? Why did I go from a heavily functional mobile phone to a merely-'phone' mobile phone?

Simply because what I need is a phone.

Since I got my Dopod (late 2005), it has been almost one and a half year. The reason that I buy a new mobile phone is that there are some battery problems with my Dopod. During the process of deciding which mobile phone to buy, I go for a 'phone' which is just phone. Don't tell me about N95 or whatever technological based devices, Because I'm really sick of having one of those. I'm not saying I'm gonna get rid of my Dopod. In fact, I'm still deeply in love with my Dopod. I'm just sick of having a phone which has a lot of fancy features. I'm stil gonna use my Dopod (after I replace its battery) for its functionality, but not as a phone.

-

-

Beckham was recalled back into England team. And I really think he deserve the recall. Why? Simply because he is good. Look at his performance during the last World Cup. Most goals from England are from him. And just yesterday, during his first match after his recall, he assist another goal for John Terry.

memories

2007-05-15T01:25:00.000+10:00

I wonder what is it like to forget your memory. what is it like to wake up one day and not realising what had happen yesterday or the day before? like a car accident or whatever sickness that causes the loss of memory.

what is it like?

think back now to very early of my life,...

i remember i was obsessed with wrestling and i hurted myself. realli. terribly. i was so obsessed, i used to imitate those wrestlers and their moves. u know, think back now it was really idiotic. u know it was the 'the rock' and 'the undertaker' time. always warned by the msg before the show, warned by my parent, 'earn u should nvr do what they do.' stil i did, u know, jumping on the bed, performing moves and eventually hurting myself.

then i got over it. u know, now if you ask me to watch one of those show. i can't.

i remember i was a weirdo/loner when i was in form 1 and 2. i remember learning a lot and a lot of bad stuf when i was in form 2. all sort of pornography and fault words. i remember smoking for the first time when i was 14. i remember practicing vandalism, breaking stuf in the lab. it was so fun.

i remember skipping classes and 'ponteng'. i remember climbing over the wall and leaving school for gaming.

i remember studying for spm. it was really terrible. i remember studying with a group of friend. whining about how suck is our life during that time. but when i think back now. it was really fun. i mean it. it was so meaningful.

i remember doing my last paper. history paper, if im not mistaken. ran out the exam room, and free myself. jumping around with friend in the field. i'l nvr gonna forget those memories. it was joy blooming.

i remember making decision to further my studies. i was a fool back then. i didnt know anything about anything. i simply picked and that is it. bachelor of business. i didnt even know what is it.

i remember leaving home for the first time and moving out. i remember. packing stuff. u know, pick a room at the accommodation office and that is it. thats my room.

and from then i made a lot of new friend. had a lot of new experiences. u know. college life. kl life. got to know all sort of different people, crazy, weird, fun,. learned a lot of new thing, mostly bad.

i remember fallen into love for the first time. i remember. i didnt even have a clear look at her face. and i was thinking and missing of her all the time for nothing really. i remember going out with my girl for the first time. u know. ****ing proud. yo, this is my girl.

awhile after that, we broke up. it was harsh. i remember deeply how dreadful it was. it wasn't good. i remember.

i remember some stupid mistakes that i'd made. and i know how stupid they were now.

i remember packing stuff and getting prepare to fly to another country and knowing you're gonna stay there and not coming back for awhile. i remember every bit of that. i remember my parent were with me. and when they left me. it was harsh. really.

i can stil remember all those memories that i have. happy and sad, good and bad, up and down, dreadful and awesome, embarrassing and respectful,.. it has really been awhile; yet it's really short. i can't forget my memories. they are part of my life. they are what i am today.

and now, i'm at the part of life where i'm getting ready to start a new chapter, life after graduation. and i know 10 years later, i'l be thinking back. what and how i was back then.

10 May

2007-05-10T21:43:00.000+10:00

oh my god. i'm so sick. flu with sore throat.

my uni is having graduation ceremony for last year graduate. it makes me wonder.
this time next year, it'l be my turn.

how's mine gonna be? am i gonna wear a graduation dress that makes me look like a retarted. am i gonna receive flowers?

they seemed to be happy, you know, smiling, taking pictures, wearing those 'ugly' graduation dresses. argh. aren't they worried about what's next?

'quick', is the word to describe. time passes so quickly. now i'm one stop away from receiving my degree.

what uhm gonna get? a holiday for sure, and? any sort of offers? what uhm gonna do after that? enrol for post degree course? where uhm gonna be?

today was fun. i had a class with my friend. i asked my friend, 'hey, how's ur mid term?'

he said, 'fail.'

i replied, 'don't lie. comon.'

he said, 'i really fail.'

then i said, 'alright, i fail too!'

he didnt believe me, so we made a deal. after class we are gonna find a computer and find out our result.

after class, log-into a computer and he said, 'alright, show me.'

i said, 'no, no, after you.'

he opened up his account and... i was put into silence

'ok, show me yours.' he asked desperately.

i replied, 'can i not show you? comon, let's go have lunch?'

'no, SHOW ME!' he opened up my account, and it's 96%.

so, i ended up treating him his lunch. it's a obligation of the deal.

Untitled

2007-05-08T13:40:00.000+10:00

After a long break, Formula 1 is back. This coming sunday is the Spanish Grand Prix. Which side are you on? The Ferrari or the McLaren? I'm on neither side, but I'm on Raikkonen side.

ATP Masters Series Rome has started in Italy. Again, whose side are you on? Roger or Rafael? I'm definitely with Roger.

Roger and Rafael have been playing against each other for quite a number of times this season. They played in the ATP Masters Series Monte Carlo final, and then they played in the battle of surfaces(pictured below), and then in the latest ATP Masters Series Rome, they played against each other in double. Nadal wins all of those ties. This is what I hate about Rafael. But I don't care, I believe Roger can beat him in Rome.

Roger is brilliant. Roger Federer has been named one of Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential People in the World. And he is categorised under the Heroes and Pioneers section.
Haha. I have to agree with people working on the list. Because Roger is obviously one of my role model.

For what he had done. Swiss post honors him a special Roger Federer stamp to the public. Also not long ago, he became the first ever recipient of three Laureus World Sports Awards. I wonder if he ever get bored of those successes.

Shift from tennis to basketball, NBA playoff had started. The western first seed, the Dallas Mavericks, a team that wins 67 times and loses only 15 times in the league was knocked out by the eighth seed, Golden State Warriors. One of the biggest upset in the history of NBA. MVP Dirk Nowitzki was powerless. Also knocked out is Miami Heat.

Attention turned to the Phoenix Suns against the San Antonio Spurs. The most entertaining NBA team up against the most boring NBA team. Comon, Nash(pictured below, his KO during Game 1) knock this boring shit out.

In the East, Detroit Pistons, are dominating in their series. Lets see what King James, the Cleveland Cavaliers can do against them in the eastern final.

In football, Man Utd had won the EPL, after a draw in the Emirates Stadium. I have to admit, they are really good. They are well derserved for the title. They had been dominating in the league regardless of their injuries crisis. Man Utd winger Cristiano Ronaldo was named the PFA Fans' Player of the Year, Players' Player of the year and Young Player of the Year. What a fantastic season for him. Also, the PFA Premier League Team of the Year 2007 includes eight Man Utd players.

However, they were outplayed by AC milan.

Before the tie, Sir Alex was saying EPL is the best league, they are aiming for a treble this season, there will be an all english final in Athens and all sort of bullshit.

And this is your reply Sir Alex, 3-0 in San siro. What about that? I saw you there in the stadium. And I'm sure that you witness how your team was outplayeded by milan. How was it?

Going into the match, I was really expecting a fight. But there ain't a fight. It was all milan, from the starting whistle til the final whistle. Milan played a perfect match. So-called best player in the world, Cristiano Ronaldo was a joke. He was dispossess so easily. Such a pleasure to watch the match, to see the flawed english side, also to see the frustration on Sir Alex and Wayne Rooney's faces. I do feel bad for teasing at people's lost. But I don't care. I hate them.

And finally, most IMPORTANTLY, this coming sunday is mother's day. So so so many sports events throughout a year. But mother's day, it is only once a year. So, do something.

Sweet Escape

2007-04-15T02:29:00.000+10:00

For the past few days, I have been doing nothing. I sleep very late, 2, sometime 3. I wake up late. And surpisingly, I can still sleep after lunch.

I have been wanting to escape, to a new place to refresh my mind. I got so mentally tired even when I ain't doing anything. You know, it's part of the course of what happen during a pre examination period. It's something psychologically. The mind keeps telling,

'You'll have a paper next week, better get prepared.'

I get stressed and eventually tired.

And because of that, I just couldn't get myself into books. Don't feel like reading. Don't feel like doing exercise or any revision. And I escape, simply find a place where I don't have to think about examination.

However, the problem is that I have no idea where to go. I'm stucked in my room. No where to go. And at that kind of moment, computer is usually the place I turn to. I listen to some music, go online, find something else and read constantly to keep my mind off examination.

Since I was introduced of xunlei a few days ago, I have been watching movies like mad. I watched Pan's Labyrinth, Blood Diamond, Note on a Scandal, Accepted and Perfume: The Story of a Murderer in just a few days. And there're more to come.

I love Pan's Labyrinth, what a interesting movie. The ending is simply extraordinary. Perfume: The Story of a Murderer is good too, the ending is completely insane.

And when I get tired of reading nonsense or watching movies, I'll go to my dreamland, sleep and dream. That's the best part of escaping, laying on the bed, and think whatever I want.

Feeling so desperate to get off the book. I turned on the tv one night, and there was a show that kept my ass on the couch. It simply interested me. Most of the time, tv is for movies, advertisement, news, documentary, and series. But that one was distinct.

A very unique background music. A couple, in corporate attire were dancing ballet. In an unique room, with the lighting changing constantly: sometimes it was adjusted in a way that we can only see their shadow, sometimes there was a light directed towards the couple.

I have no idea what was it about. It was my very first time watching ballet. However, it was nice to watch.

The male holded the female's waist and turned her around and around while the female was standing with her toes. Beside, they moved their arm like mad. It was quite scary. They were like trying to demonstrate something. They had all kind of facial expression.

I was watching it, trying to figure out what's it that they were trying to tell. It seemed meaningless to me. Really have to ask some ballet pros about it.

I realised my eyes are like human too, they will get bored of what they have always been seeing all the time. They are more attracted to unfamiliar things, thing out of the routine.

Have you ever felt that your life is bored? It's always the same routine. If yes, find something out of your routine.

*note:

1. Roger Federer will be back in action in Monte Carlo. People must think that Roger is vulnerable since his two defeats early this season. But, let me tell you, he is different. Last year, before going into Wimbledon, he was defeated several times by Nadal, even I was nervous about his chance of retaining the title, but he ended up winning everything. This time, I won't doubt about his genius. I'm 100% behind him.

2. Felipe Massa got the pole positon in Bahrain once again. But I'm really worried about him after his last week performance in Malaysia. Still, I hope Räikkönen can pull out something in Bahrain.

3. I can't wait till 25th in Old Trafford. Premiership is the best in the world - Ferguson. Three from England, so what? Barcelona, Valencia and Real Madrid made it to the semi-finals in 1999-2000, and later it was an all-Spanish final. 2002-03, when Juventus, Milan and Inter made the last four, it was an all-Italian affair at Old Trafford. Chelsea, Manchester United and Liverpool were all very deserving winners of their respective ties, I admit. Current claims of England's superiority are nothing but fickle and short-sighted.

March on

2007-04-01T20:32:00.000+10:00

Good Charlotte has just released their new album, Good Morning Revival last month. I'd listened to the album and I think it's good.

There's a song named March on. I'd just posted into my blog. It's really good.
Its chorus sings,

"Like soldiers, march on.
If we can make it through tonight we'll see the sun.
March on, march on."

I suppose you guy have seen the movie, 300, a movie about the Spartan Kings, Leonidas. The thing I like about the movie is the spirit among those Spartans. Even when it seems to be only death, they do not really care what's ahead of them, they march on.

In Bible tells a story of the march of Moses and the Israelites on their escape out of Egypt and the crossing of the Red Sea. In Bible says Israelites faced loss of hope when they reached the Red Sea. They couldn't see a way out from there. Their hopes were lost.

But they didn't know there is a passage. A passage that wasn't seen. God split the Red Sea, and they march through the Red Sea. On that day, the LORD saved Israel from the hand of Egypt.

Sometime people face difficulties. Most of the time, it seems,
'There ain't a way out of it.'

Do not give up. March on.
'If we can make it through tonight we'll see the sun.'

There's always a path out of it, just that it wasn't seen. Like Spartans march on. March through the difficulties or troubles. Not around, over, or under it, but through it. You'll find victorious over the other side. Do not ever give up.

I wish I could be as brave as Spartans, march through my troubles.

Easter

2007-04-01T15:13:00.000+10:00

Easter's coming soon.

Any plan?

Not really.

Probably going to the Easter Celebrations at Hillsong church at Sydney Convention Centre, Darling Harbour.

What actually Easter is about? In chinese, Easter is translated as 复活节. That's cool. It's pretty much self-explanatory.

Easter, the Sunday of the Resurrection, or the rising of Jesus Christ on the third day after the Crucifixion, or his death on the cross.

Have you been to a birthday celebration? What's it for? It's an anniversary of the day on which a person was born in some previous years. Uhm, ok. It worths celebrating.

Easter is sort of a birthday celebration. Uhm, not really. But on contrast, it celebrates the date on which a person, Jesus Christ was risen from his death. Yes. Isn't it much more significant than any other events that worth celebrating?

If you don't feel like celebrating it. Here is 2 questions that tell the significance of Easter. How many people was born every day? And how many people was risen from death before in history?

Isn't it great to celebrate someone who was risen from death? I don't usually celebrate my birthday in the past because I don't feel the significance. But if I am to be raise from death. I will certainly celebrate it.

My Secret Window

2007-03-15T18:00:00.000+11:00

It has been a surprising weekend in sports really. World no.1, Roger Federer's 41-match winning streak has been broken; another world no.1, Maria Sharapova has also been knocked out in Pacific Life Open. Beside, arch-rivals Barcelona and Real Madrid produced a thrilling 'clasico' at the Nou Camp on Saturday. Four goals in the first half hour, end-to-end action, a sending off, some outstanding goalkeeping, a last-gasp goal and a virtuoso hat-trick in a 3-3 draw.

Sunday morning, it was a very sad morning. I came back from church service and quickly checked Atptennis.com for Roger Federer's progress in the Pacific Life Open.

The first thing I see in the website was the Adobe Flash Player showing all the latest news and the subject was Canas stun Federer. I was terrified because the word stun is usually related to surprise. I was thinking,
'what would have happened?'
'how was the match?'
'is Federer okay?'
'is he through?'

I wasn't corcerned about that match because it was a first round match and the opponent, Guillermo Canas ain't someone special. There was a preview of that match that I read in RogerFederer.com, saying it will be an easy and comfortable start for Federer in Pacific Life Open. Everyone wasn't expecting Federer to go through.

I was thinking,
'did I read it correctly?',

So, I read again. The fact is that Canas crushed Roger Federer's hopes of winning a fourth consecutive Pacific Life Open title and setting a new Open era-record winning streak with a 7-5, 6-2 victory Sunday.

'#$%^&'
'What the **** happened?'

Roger Federer, world no.1, has been in a 41-match winning streak, lost to a lucky loser, Guillermo Canas. That totally surprised me. It made me sad as well. I am a loyal fan of Roger Federer and I am pretty much into him, admiring what he's doing. By winning Pacific Life Open, he can set a new Open era record winning streak. I am completely behind him supporting him.

'Can you actually imagine how big it is?'
An open era record. Everything was ruined by Guillermo Canas, a lucky loser from qualifying.

I read Roger Federer's post-match interview. He was as usual, positive. He has been really incredible, winning consecutive 41 matches. Maybe it ain't so special to some people, but it is in fact really an amazing record. Only 5 more matches to match Guillermo Vilas' 46-match winning streak, which is currently the longest one. 5 matches, that sounds as easy as turning your palm upside down. No, it ain't easy at all. This defeat of Roger's is a clear example. A first round match, suppose to be an easy one, but no, it ain't. 41-match winning steak, so, can you imagine how difficult it is? This defeat is only the 16th defeat Federer has suffered since becoming No. 1 in the ATP Rankings on Feb. 2, 2004.

On my way back from the church, I went to the market to buy some vegetables. There was a lady, who works there was looking for place to eat in a corner where people place rubbish. I was there, the place was seriously smelly and dirty. There wasn't even a place to sit, she was crouching. There was another lady, a friend of her, was shouting at her,
'What are you doing there?'
'Why are you there?'

She pointed her to the stair, and asked her to sit there.
'Sit there,
at the corner,
so no one can see you'

That image is really.. I don't know how to describe it. I don't understand, why is she hiding herself. I mean, a person who sells vegetable, that ain't a really bad job. I thought to myself,
'What did I eat for lunch that day?'
I had a japanese cuisine in a japanese restaurant.
and
'What did she has for lunch?'
I don't know, rice and some meat maybe.
'Where?'
At the stair.

I felt pity for her. I thought to myself,
'How if I have to work and eat like her?'
That's really dreadful. That's really how bad it gets when you are lack of money. Not even a proper meal.

I had a test this afternoon. I didn't really study for it. I went out at 11.30am, went into a bus. The bus was slow. By the time I reached school was already 12pm. I rushed into my class, and the exam was just about to start. The tutor was checking ID, I took out mine and got identified. The exam was really relaxing. It's a 30 min quiz and it only consists of 5 short questions. I am really expecting myself to get full mark from this quiz. But it's always possibility for mistakes.

The night before, I was arranging contacts in my Hotmail account. I started the arrangement since I finished dinner and shower around 9pm, and guess what time I finished the arrangement? 2am, in the morning, my god, it took so long. My eyes were so tired, doing it whole night. I was about to give up. But I continued and finished the arrangement. That's cool, throwing out many unknown contacts and getting contacts into groups. But it was a pain experience, doing all those arrangement purely using touchpad. So, I decided to buy a mouse the next day together with a pen drive. Last week I'd actually lost my pen drive in my school. I was so frustrated because I have some past semester files in there.

After my lunch, I headed for my lecture, it's a finance lecture. I arrived early and the lecture hall is still empty. Very soon, the lecture hall got packed and lecture got started. I wasn't concentrating at all. I didn't understand what the lecturer was trying to teach and it jus wasn't interesting. I even heard a girl behind me asking,
'Do you understand all these?'

I was talking to my friend, Paul. He was trying so hard to listen. I was playing around. I took his watch and played. I disturbed him in many ways. He looked frustrated and said,
'I'm trying to listen.'

Ok, that's hard for most people, but not for me, I laughed, I didn't know what so funny about it. I just laughed and continued what I'd been doing. A person sat in the front row was checking on me, turned and looked at me for awhile for a couple of times. He was like,
'Hey, can you keep quiet?'

So, I waited, I tried to keep quiet for awhile but I can't. Finally, the lecturer gave a 10 minutes break and I decided to leave because I know I was disturbing other.

I just don't get it.
'Why can't I focus?'

It's a finance subject, it should be interesting.

On contrary, surprisingly, I felt accounting subject is interesting. Last Friday, I read an accounting article. I was reading Auditing and Assurance handbook 2007 for the whole tuesday night. In this week auditing class, I had my very first auditing case study. I wasn't expecting anything but boredom from it. But it wasn't as bad as I thought. The tutor was funny. We were discussing the case and he made it amusing.

The class dismissed early. So, I bought myself a sausage roll (one of my favourite refreshment) and headed to the library to looked up for a book that I just returned earlier (due date), hoping to borrow it again. I went to the shelf and it wasn't there. It's an auditing subject's recommended text, so it's a 'hot' one, everyone is looking for it. So, I borrowed an older edition of it instead (just in case, I need to read it).

Just when I was about to walk out the library, I remembered about my lost pen drive. So, I approached the old lady at the enquries counter and asked about it. She directed me to the Security room. I didn't expect to get my pen drive back there, I was asking hopelessly. The security guard digged into a box of lost property and took out a pen drive that match my description and asked,
'Is this what're you looking for?'

I said,
'Yes!'

I really didn't expect it. In Malaysia, it would have kept by someone else. I just can't believe that a person actually reported my pen drive to the Security. This is really a clear example about the difference in culture.

I left the finance lecture and I headed to the Capitol Square to buy a mouse. So, I walked around and looked up for a dodgy and cheap one. I said to myself,
'Alright, there should be a dodgy one around $5.'

I looked into almost every stores in there, I found that the average price of a mouse by a dodgy brand is $15 or more. I can't really find any cheaper than that. So, finally I went into a store and looked into a variety of dodgy mouse available there, all priced range from $15 to $20. All these while, I'd been keeping my eye off those established brand like Logitech because I know it will costs more. When I was about to choose a dodgy one, the seller reckoned me to buy the Zebra Mouse by Logitech saying it has better quality. There ain't any price tag, so, I assumed it will cost $20 or more. Surprisingly, he said,
'$10 only.'

Tuesday night when I was lying on my bed, I saw the moon through my window. It was so beautiful. I love the view. It was so special especially when you miss home. I love the feeling that my window is a special one like in the movie, Secret window starring Johnny Depp, there's a window in his house that have a view of his backyard where he buried dead people.

Introduction

2007-03-13T16:05:00.000+11:00

I'd been blogging in Friendster previously. Recently, I'd been experiencing some problems logging into my own blog. It was of course a very frustrating experience, it's like being locked out from your own room. So, I decided to switch and had choosen Blogger.

Well, I have to say that I'm still adapting myself in Sydney despite that I ain't new here (I'd spent a semester in Sydney previously). The reason is I spent a two months summer holiday in Kuantan, Malaysia, my hometown. Living in Kuantan and Sydney, there's a big difference in lifestyle. Just take the place I stay as example, one is extremely big and sophisticated, another is small and terrible? should I use this word? maybe not that terrible, just awful. Beside, in Kuantan, I can drive around and I am on holiday; in Sydney, I can't drive around and I am on semester. Most importanly, there is a currencies difference.

When I first came to Sydney last July, it was a pressure for me to adapt to my life in Sydney really. One of the x factor is the currencies difference. I still remember it was like my brain went to a 'MATH' gym and kept working out the 'times 2.8' machine (Refer to The Star Online - Exchange Rates: Units of Malaysian Ringgit per one unit of Australian Dollar is around 2.7 and 2.8). Whenever I take out my wallet, my brain is working on how much it costs in Malaysia. It was a shock to realise how much I actually spend. For example, a burger can costs up to $10 in Sydney, it's ridiculously expensive if I convert it into Malaysian Ringgits. Who would buy a burger that costs RM30, I won't, I can get one at a price of RM2. I get used to it really, after some time. But the summer break that I spent in Kuantan drag me back to where I was last time really.

Sydney ain't all the bads, there are goods and bads for both really. For example, food here in Sydney is terrific. I love FRENCH FRIES in Sydney, they taste simply better; french fries in Kuantan is really dreadful. Beside, having such a long summer break can really be boring and dreadful, getting back into studies ain't that bad.

Leaving Malaysia, surprisingly, it wasn't as terrible as I thought it will be. I was feeling quite comfortable in the airport really.

Back in Sydney, it is really all about calculation. How much I am spending everyday. Been here not more than two weeks, I'd already spent a little bit more than $200 for text book. Last semester, I suffered a terrible starvation at night, because I can't find any food to eat at night when I'm at Sydney. So, after learning that lesson, I brought 30 packs of instant noodles along with me. It's about calculation as well, budgeting how often should I consume a pack of instant noodle.

Back in Sydney, it's all about studies as well. I am in the last year of my degree programme and subjects are getting tougher (they should be). So, it is good to get myself started this early in a semester. But I am facing an obstacle. I am currently addicted to a game called Football Manager 2007, in that game, I am a manager of Barcelona, and I am doing the job well, I can't stop myself from playing it. It is like having a part time job really, a manager. I really thought of getting a real part time job in Sydney, no matter what it is, because I have class on only three days a week. I know I should have spent more time on studies. But since I can't, it's better working than playing game. I'd asked for it in a few restaurants, but was being rejected because they wanted an experienced one.

It's getting cold in Sydney.